Hello. When I took Jinny to TJMaxx today I suddenly scooped up 5 things, because they presented themselves to me. Like Talbot's sweaters and other junk. But I didn't try anything on until I got home. Tonight I returned all 5 of them, hehe. I said to the cashier, I'm sorry these didn't work out. She said, No problem (thank goodness she didn't ask why they didn't work out). You gotta love TJMaxx.

Then, since I was there and everything, I tried on 8 more things in the dressing room. Hello, Calvin Klein has a white dress straight off the back of Audrey Hepburn. It was STUNNING, a little sleeveless light cotton dress with white cloth circle thingys ("thingys" is such a great word, it's my crutch) all over it, it was fitted through the bust and waist and then fluffed out down to the knees, I mean it was full. The neckline was a "V" in the front and back. It made you look like you had a figure, I mean a good one, like the old time movie stars. Maybe that was the stars' trick, they wore clothes that had some structure and shape, held you together and had proportion, accentuated the proper areas and also feminine and modest. It was GORGEOUS, I'm telling you.

So why didn't I get it for $50? Because when I stuck my fingers under the dress at the top of the shoulders there was more room under one finger on the right side than the left. It was probably me, my Scoliosis, I'm a crooked skeletal mess. But that was that, it felt looser on the one side, so I hung it back up and I must be CRAZY to pass on a dress like that. I could picture myself dancing with Fred Astaire in that dress, like Audrey did with him in Funny Face. Besides, I have nowhere to wear a dress like that. I should have invented someplace to wear a dress like that. Good grief, you just don't see dresses like this. Yep, I'm crazy. It's a dress you would wear to an afternoon tea party on the lawn of some great New York estate, like the Larrabees', like in Sabrina. Boy, I love that movie.

Adult ADD, that's what I have.

I scooped my mom up to go see the puppet show, The Man Who Planted Trees (exciting title). The dog in it was hilarious. I could have done without all the scenes that didn't have the dog. Thankfully, there were a lot of dog scenes. Cute, cute, cute. And how refreshing, good, clean humor. These two men from Scotland who do the show are touring North America through June. I think you can see about it at http://www.statetheater.com/

Well, I'm sure I'll have visions of white voile dresses floating in my head tonight. But first, going to eat 1.5 leftover pancakes. There would be more leftover pancakes, except I was greedy last night. Walking 30 minutes a day is really making me gain weight. Jazzi, too. Jazz has fleas. I mean, FLEAS. She's had one or two in the past, but this is uncharted territory. It must be because of the freezing cold winter. I'm sure we'll be blaming everything on the freezing cold winter.

DTD just waltzed in to sign her income taxes. It took her two seconds and she said it was a colossal waste of time (to come over here just for that, her mere signature). And out she waltzed. I have to say, income taxes ARE a big waste of time, the paperwork, that is. The least the government could do is issue a flat tax. Well, that's how I feel about it.

Tomorrow I have to waste my time getting my hair colored. The older I get the less patience I have for this kind of stuff. I've decided my priorities are out of whack in the extreme. Wonder what I'm going to do about that. I'm teetering on something B-I-G.

I'm very upset that CDW is so busy with crunch time for her daughter's wedding that she can hardly email me for the time being. Rats and SUPER RATS!!! This will last another 2.5 months. Well, I understand, of course, it's THE WEDDING, it's just MOST unfortunate. Not the wedding of course, that will be so loverly. Not getting my daily dose of CDW is what's unfortunate, this is where I'm having serious withdrawal symptoms. CDW is rays of sunshine for the weary, KEM. Rats, rats, rats. Well, when I attend the wedding, all will be blissful again.

Our bathroom floor is pine. In one piece of wood the grain forms a picture that looks just like Mystery Monkey. It looks just like Mystery Monkey whether you look at it right side up or turn yourself around and look at it upside down. A two-way monkey picture. Maybe I should pry it up and sell it on eBay. Well, why not? People are snapping up the monkey t-shirts like there's no tomorrow.

There is now posted a song about the Mystery Monkey on Facebook. Some great video footage of him eating a carrot on someone's patio and other stuff during the song. He's a gentleman, too.

Oh, and in a separate photo you see 4 wildlife officers lined up and standing in front of their wildlife vehicle. Behind the truck Mystery Monkey sits on a Tow Away sign drinking a Coke. It was photo shopped but very funny.

Krooked KEM