Have you taken down your Christmas decorations? I haven't. Have you started your New Year calendar? I haven't. Have you eaten any crummy food lately, as in the first two days of 2010? I have. Are you perky and ready to roll in the new year? I'm not. Is everything going to be better tomorrow? It is.

Had to say good-bye to my sister tonight. Eh. I always really don't like that.

I'm hungry. I'm going to go eat some applesauce. We have a family friend who can't abide the sight of applesauce because when I was a baby it was always dried all over my face. It totally grossed her out for good. We have another friend who can't abide the sight of mint jelly. But, truly, I can't stand mint jelly either. I don't care for mint, unless it's well disguised in a peppermint patty.

I will follow up the applesauce with horseradish cheese.

Okay, have to get on with it. See ya tomorrow.

KEM

Okay, so there were no mistakes in 2010 . . . yet. I took care of that in short order. But hold that thought, January 1 hardly counts, it's a recovery day, you know, from the jolt of realizing we're in a brand new year, just like that (snap your fingers), and 2009 is gone forever, never to be seen again. It takes a whole day to try to figure out how on earth that happened. Then the weekend hardly counts, whoever started anything on a weekend? So this whole thing of no mistakes yet shall begin on Monday. It truly is nice to wake up in the morning thinking, A fresh new day with no mistakes in it . . . yet, and God having wiped out the mistakes of all our days gone before. Really, trying to make it with no mistakes in a day, that seems far more within reason than thinking, A brand new year with no mistakes in it.

My stories will wait another day . . .

Still KEM in 2010

So far it is a Happy New Year, exactly two hours into it. December 31, 2009, yesterday, was a very interesting day, but due to the late hour, I shall save all that for tomorrow, which is today already.

Remember, it's 2010, with no mistakes in it yet!!! That is such a happy thought.

Blessings All,
KEM

Even thought I live in a city that is a peninsula in state that is a peninsula, I never get to the beach. Unless my sister is in town. So today we went to the beach and it was scrumptious. My jeans made me hot, but the water is icy. I drank two big Cokes . . . unheard of for me. Ate smoked fish sandwich at Ted Peter's, a St. Petersburg landmark. The sunset was VIVID. Saw fun friends. I'm telling you, my sister's vacation is killing me -- not used to all this much fun.

I didn't want to wear my new B, B & B Diamond Dust Dots to the beach where abrasive sand and salt might dull them, well, at least the part that's not DDD. My sister thinks I'm crazy. I also didn't want them stolen out of my house while we were gone all day, so I hid them in what I consider a very brilliant spot. But if I blab it on my blog, then it won't be so secret anymore. But I was very self-satisfied with this stroke of ingenuity.

As far as Dead Sea avoidance, CDW has this to say:

I am so glad you are having a lovely time shopping with your sister. Man, I am jealous. I would love to have a sister here to shop with. But, little missy, if we ever get to shop together...I will show you how very easy it is to pass the Dead Sea people...marching, looking them square in the eyes as you say with determination in your voice and a smile still on your face, "No thank you!" Easy as pie, my dear little baby cakes. :) You are too nice and I am too mean...probably. smiling wickedly.

So, CDW solved that one. I was planning on collapsing with a heart attack the next time I passed the kiosk, to distract the Israelis from their mission of extraction . . . extracting all my money off my person, that is. Actually, I've tried CDW's method, but these little laddies and lassies persist, they follow you down the mall talking a mile a minute. Then what, CDW? But see, CDW has presence. She is tall and gorgeous, she can make them back down. One cobra smile from her and she sends them packing. I am merely Flat Kathy, having been rolled over by steam shovels millions of times and then rerolled. When Dead Sea sees a flat person walk by with averted eyes, they POUNCE! When you are a flat person, you are an automatic target. It's so distressing.

Does anyone know what I am trying to say?

2009 and the world, parting ways,
KEM

Having SO MUCH FUN with my sister. We went to the fancy mall in Tampa. There, of all things, was Bailey, Banks and Biddle . . . GOING OUT OF BUSINESS. Say it ain't so! B, B & B's name alone is reason enough to require it stay in business forever. Come on, what store has a snappier name than that? And they've been around since 1832, internationally famous and all the rest, an American institution, it's just sickening. I talked to the man, he's sick, too, says too many buyouts and the latest owner couldn't swing it. Rats. Well, of course I had to use my Christmas money in there, Laura helped me pick out the tiniest diamond earrings. They looked invisible on the velvet, but in my ear they somehow appeared much larger, tricky, eh? That's the way jewelry works on me, I simply cannot carry off substantial pieces. Mike should be glad because I am forced to buy the teensy stuff, which of course costs less, the average size stuff looks absurd on me, it swallows me. I don't even wear jewelry to speak of, I just like a couple of classic pieces, don't you? At 60% off, what's to stop me? There was a notice that stated some of the jewelry was not actually B, B & B, but was bought from other retailers to add to the B, B & B FINAL SALE. So, when all is said and done I don't know if I have official B, B & B earrings or not, but I BOUGHT them there, so that's good enough for this old girl. Now I can say I own something from B, B & B, even if it's only diamond dust dots, at least that's the general idea, which until tonight was not the case.

The second I emerged from B, B & B, I was accosted by the Dead Sea young woman, there she was, in my face. You know, the gang from Israel that sells marvelous products from their kiosk for $300, But for YOU, my Lovely, because you're so special (think the witch in Hansel and Gretel), a mere $149. I just can't handle it. I walked off with a couple little somethings that depleted the remainder of my Christmas money and then some. Don't tell Mike. I was going to spend my Christmas money on new pots and pans . . . well, that noble plan just crash landed. Mike likes my earrings but he's afraid I will also march ahead with my pots 'n pans plan. But I am not that brazen. I will be much more discreet and buy a pot here and a pan there as the months slide by and sales crop up. After all, does Mike really want me draining pasta with a pot that has a loose handle?? I didn't think so.

Oh, the girl from Israel, she was so charming, so beautiful, so persuasive. I tell you what, Israelis are the best sales people IN ALL THE WORLD, BAR NONE. They also lie through their teeth, I can promise you that. I have to form a trick to avoid the Dead Sea people. Once I complained at the guest desk in the mall that I was afraid to walk the end of the mall where was stationed a certain kiosk. The lady said, You mean the Dead Sea kiosk? Oh baby, that was not so hard to figure out, was it? Hmm, let's see, how can I do this. So far, with the greatest of resolve, I have failed at three malls. Not a total failure, of course, because the products truly are unique and they do deliver. And I admire the verve of the Israelis, stand in awe of it actually, wishing I had a sliver of it. At the same time, the whole situation is completely galling. Avoiding eye contact when I pass by, that seems pathetic. I'm going to have to put some thought into this, because I simply cannot afford to be sucked in one more time. But you know what, I splurged because I've never had a real career but have practiced volunteerism my whole life. I just feel GOOD when I treat myself once in a while. I remember at a music camp in Pennsylvania where I waitressed one summer, my friend and I were boasting to a counselor guy how we worked as counselors at another camp for several years and at the end of the month our "pay" was a night out in Winter Park, which consisted of a dinner out and then Elephant Ears. He laughed himself silly, Oh, so you worked for FREE?? Yep, that's right and I've done it ever since, more or less. If I get swindled into buying Dead Sea stuff because they tell me I'm special (and weak in the sales resistance department, no, not weak, DEAD), then so be it. Maybe I deserve exotic eye serum. That's right, you heard me. Walking off swinging a pale green sack makes me feel REALLY STUPID. But I get over it soon enough. And, incidentally, she tried to sell me more, at a huge discount that she couldn't let her manager see, but I said, No, Senorita. I will give credit that she didn't scowl me to the scorn and we parted on friendly terms. I should sincerely hope so.

'Til next time . . . which I mean by that next blog, not next Dead Sea Disaster, but this is questionable because Laura and I are headed back to the mall soon, so I had better think hard and fast how to weasel by my most hated favorite place so there indeed is not a next time for THAT . . . KEM

Hello. Today I realized I need to cultivate the art of loving life. Somehow, I've forgotten how to chill. And I need to do this without having to WORK too hard at it, as that of course would defeat the purpose. Making things too hard, one of my natural born deficincies.

Went to Target with my sister. She is A-#1 shopper. Can you believe there wasn't a scrap of Christmas wrapping paper left? Dadgum. My sister had darling nice wrapping paper from Target, not like my sick, cheap paper, which even my niece said was pretty ugly. Okay, so next year I get to buy it full price, I'll have to buy small gifts for everyone.

Going to scrummage something up to eat (just going Hollywood with scrummage -- scrounge + rummage).

OH NO, I just remembered I have to give Jazzi a bath. The medicated shampoo has to stay on for ten whole minutes. RATS! This does not make for a cozy midnight. Now I am going to have to have hot chocolate to make up for it. My friend who has known me since birth, her Christmas present to me this year was a bag of goodies to make a cozy evening. She says my favorite word has always been cozy. And this is SO true.

Cozy Is As Cozy Does KEM

YIPPY! My sister and her family are here. My nephew is spending the nights with us. Niece is with DTD, which is a first. Sister and husband are staying in a darling little Best Western nearby that wins awards and is so clean it's pitiful. Mike and I should stay there and let the others have the house, ha!

Remember back in the summer when my nephew and his friend stayed in the mountains with us? How they both shared a hand towel? Not for drying hands, mind you, but for drying off after showering. Never mind the stack of bath towels in the TV room in the balcony, left there by my sister. The boys passed those towels 800 times a day. Sorry Aunt who can't move them to the bathroom, is my guess.

Well, tonight I hear the water running in the tub. That reminded me that I forgot to hang towels in there for my nephew. So I hollered, NEPHEW!, you need a towel! He replies, I have a towel. After checking the undisturbed linen closet, I argued, No, you don't. Yes, I do. I said, WHAT?, the HAND towel (not again!)? He said, No, there's a towel on the floor. Towel on the floor??? That's the BATH MAT!!!

I truly give up. But while I'm giving up, I'm cracking up, too.

For dinner for my sister we had chicken pot pie . . . again. Honestly, all that work paid off. By the time I've served Christmas dinner, sent pie home with guests, had stepson over for a couple of servings, eaten it three nights in a row, frozen some, etc., etc., I count up 25 portions. WOW, I'm impressed with myself, pardon the brag. I was pleased that my niece and nephew ate most of theirs. Niece obviously does not like the dark crust edge. Nephew couldn't clean his plate if his life direly depended upon it, unless it was donuts or anything white bread. Later when we were opening gifts we somehow got on the subject of how niece has never eaten her vegetables. She opposed that and said, I like lots of vegetables and I've always eaten them. Sister and I exchange glances. Niece went on to list asparagus, green beans, carrots. WHOA! Niece, you left your carrots from chicken pie on your plate this very night. I was intrigued how she neatly picked out the mushrooms and carrots and scooted them to the rim of the plate. There they were, two matching carrot rounds, bright orange, side by side like two big eyeballs, and distinctly discarded. But that's okay, she likes her carrots. Aren't they a hoot?

DTD, meanwhile, is eating like there's no 2010 lurking around the corner. Unfortunately, none of the above appreciate my Eagle Eye Annie approach to the remains of their plates. But it's one of those little things that I can't help myself. A friend and I were talking about how to deal with difficult relatives and her conclusion was that people can't help themselves, for the most part. Maybe that's lame, but it's my excuse for this food thing. I can't help myself. Once in the mountains a few years ago, I offered $1 every time someone cleaned their plate. It didn't work out so hot.

Last night I got my annual Audrey Hepburn calendar for $3.20. That made me happy. It's supposed to be $16, but is now half price. PLUS, I had $5 reward at Borders. Audrey keeps me organized for the year. She hangs by the kitchen desk and all obligations get jotted in the chunky squares. Every year I want to try to write so neatly in the boxes and make it purty, and it takes until about January 3 to make it UG-EE.

It just occurred to me that I never put soap in the shower for nephew.

Tonight a guilty party who shall remain nameless allowed Jazzi Jo Mader a few seconds of free reign in the yard while said party was tending to other matters in said yard. A few seconds is all it took, we had sick dog again. What on earth is dog craving in yard? I hope it's not ciggy butts from roofer, because I remember my neighbor saying she will not allow workers to smoke on her property because the dogs can get so violently ill ingesting butts. I'm here to tell you, you do not want to deal with sick dog product while you are trying to roll out pie crust. Thankfully, the messes were less revolting this time . . . but still . . . I was close to hanging guilty party. Just kidding. Sort of. I was forced to deal, rather inelegantly I'm afraid, and move on. Besides, I'm in love with guilty party.

This kid is dropping. BYE. KEM.