Hi. It's gotten cool and windy here and it's most exhilarating. Walked the neighborhood after dark and enjoyed it thoroughly. Fall is my favorite season. When I was a kid it was spring, unequivocally, 'cause winter seemed so cold and drab (and this was a Florida winter, mind you). Then summer was my next favorite, because that was so much fun, all the swimming and no school and such. FALL! Fall was gross, fall was what led into winter. At least winter had Christmas. What did fall have?? I couldn't think of anything except a reminder that a LONG school year lay ahead. Well, then there was Annie's Thanksgiving dinner, that was the highlight. Still, fall was more icky to me than winter, which put fall squarely last in my order of seasons. Then in my early 20's I lived in NC. One fall afternoon I was sitting on the bleachers at a school soccer game. It was an exquisite fall day. This lady said, Fall is my favorite time of the year. I was thrown for a 360* loop. FALL?? FAVORITE??? I thought the lady was nuts. But now I know she was just smart. And let's not fail to notice, NC actually has a fall, a noticeable change of season, whereas Florida's seasons all meld together into a mishmash of lukewarmness, except summer, where there is no denying the scorching heat and humidity. Most people seem to love fall best, do you?
Last night I tried the Crest Whitestrips for the first time. I dutifully read all the instructions and FAQ. It boils down to four easy steps, so all that reading material on the website is a bunch of ado about nothing: 1) Don't brush your teeth (don't? . . . whatever) 2) Put strip on teeth 3) Suck it in 4) Set kitchen timer for 30 minutes. A little more elaborately, you open the little packet, remove the very thin, VERY flimsy, sorta gooey strip off the plastic card/holder thingy and place Whitestrip across your teeth. Tuck it under to the back of the teeth so it'll hold. Wash goo off hands. Oh yeah, and don't laugh. Ta-da! That was hard. I find it good to do something quiet that distracts me from a mouth-full of foreign substances, like type my blog. The hydrogen peroxide foams up a little. I want to move the whole works around with my tongue. Also, it can slip and slide practically of its own free will, hence the sucking action to create a vacuum-like seal so it sticks . . . sort of. At any rate, don't really want the little strip floating off down the hatch, although in the FAQ they said not to worry about it if that happens. Still, the strip floating off too soon would defeat the purpose, to my way of thinking. I got a little confused about which side to place on the teeth because I wasn't paying attention, my first time and all, not knowing what to expect. Of course you put the gooey side against the teeth, but if you over-handle this little delicate strip, it gets gooey all over. PLUS, it seems fragile enough to tear easily. Yes, it is MOST dainty, remember that. Today I mentally reviewed the process, I'm The Smart One, you know (choke), and I realized that if I don't over-think this I'm going to be just fine. OBVIOUSLY when you peel the Whitestrip off its plastic, the gooey side had to be face down on the plastic, duh. So slap that little baby right on the old yellow teeth before you forget and get mixed up.
I have to say, Crest has a real little clever thing going here. Still, the trouble of beauty, or at least of white teeth. They say you can use certain of the Whitestrips twice a day. Oh yeah, there is a whole list of variations of Whitestrips. But get real, TWICE a day? NO WAY. Wonder if sparkly, spanky white teeth is going to lead me straight into wanting a nose job?
BTW, my sister has lovely, white teeth. Pure white. When her son was young he said to his mother, Your teeth look yellow. She laughed and said, What do you mean? Like corn on the cob, he complimented. And he wasn't talking about the white Silver Queen variety, either. School bus yellow horse corn feed is more like it. They start young, don't they? Men . . . honestly.
Okay, so that was everything you never wanted to know about Whitestrips. What I'm NOT going to do is get my teeth so white that I suddenly seem to be ALL BLARING WHITE TEETH, WHOLE WHITE GLOWING TEETH AND NOTHING BUT WHITE GLARING TEETH. I've seen people like that. When I talk to them I feel like I need sunglasses. I can't listen to what they're saying to me because I'm so intrigued with the OVERKILL FACTOR. I have a picture of someone, a teenager, and the teeth are so white that I had to take it down from the fridge, it literally made me nauseous. There must be a connection to this and the bright white skies that give me headaches. Yes, that's what it is.
The other night I wrote an article for submission to a paying enterprise. The instructions were to submit a story between 700-900 words. I was actually using something from my blog and when I plugged it into Desktop or whatever, I clicked on word count (can you BELIEVE I even found word count?), and my story was 644 words or so. So, I set about adding to and revising. When I finished that, I clicked word count and it was just below 900 words. I tweaked some more and wound up with EXACTLY 900 words. I needed to tweak even further so if I added three words here, I had to subtract three words there, and so on. It was lots of fun. When I finally submitted it I wrote, This story contains exactly 900 words. I wanted to impress the lady. I'm sure the story is in the trash bin, except I emailed it, so the woman's DELETE BUTTON on her computer is probably singed, along with her toasted little finger, she hit it so good and hard and fast, to be sure there was no mistake, to be sure it was wiped out of her system, you know?
Okay, when I'm really tired I just write about WHATEVER. I don't have the umph to write a real story, which can take me a very long time. Mike says I shouldn't edit so much. But let me tell you something, if I don't edit right on the spot, it is not going to happen. Point of proof, I have a note to edit a couple of blogs from three weeks ago. For one of them, I thought of something that was just perfect, but I was in the shower. I didn't mentally tell myself, REMEMBER THIS. I didn't rehearse it until I knew I wouldn't forget it. So, I forgot it. It bugged me to pieces. I think it's gone forever. That used to bother me a lot, when I'd lose an idea, but now I think, Well, obviously a shortage of words doesn't seem to be my problem, and I have to let it go. Like on my Curious George story, I worked forever editing it and then when I hit PUBLISH POST, I didn't get the usual, YOUR BLOG HAS SUCCESSFULLY PUBLISHED. Instead I got a blood chilling, YOU NEED TO SIGN IN AGAIN. WHOA! When I signed in again, the edits hadn't taken. RATS! I sat there for the longest time recreating my edits, because I knew if I didn't, I'd forget everything. At least the basic story hadn't poofed into thin air. Gads. I KNOW I didn't remember every edit, which edits to me are an improvement over the original. Mike doesn't "get" that. But everyone has their own "artistry" that can't be denied. I was still working when Mike came down at 7:00 AM. I told him my sad soupy story. Then I added, But I'm not going to sweat it BECAUSE THAT IS LIFE. He said, I'm proud of you. And to help myself pretend to feel good about it, I said, Plus, I ended up inserting things that weren't in the first edit. So, it all comes out in the wash. Seriously, doesn't all of life just come out in the wash?
Oops! I do believe I'm giving away all my trade secrets. However, as you may have guessed, there isn't a whole lot I keep secret. I'm just not that kind of person. BUT, if you tell me a secret, I have learned to keep it FOR SURE. Sometimes, to get DTD'S attention, I'll say, very secretive-like, I have a secret. She's all primed, eyes aglow, and asks, WHAT? Then I tell her something, sheerly secretive delightful and earth-shattering, like, So and So dyed her hair blond. DTD deflates like a pricked balloon. But secrets like this give DTD good eye rolling practice -- have to provide opportunity for her to exercise her skills, keep them up to par, right?
Your Fall Favorite, White Toothed, Edit Crazy KEM
P.S. I am getting the hang of using ABC check for my blog. I forget most of the time, though.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Money, Honey
Birthday is stretched out further due to lunch being postponed until tomorrow because of thunderstorms today. Lunch tomorrow might not happen either because of a migraine that is settling. I've decided barometric pressure is the culprit. The sky was all solid overcast and glaring, white-bright, my least favorite kind of sky. Yes, the atmosphere is closing in. In other words, the sky has descended upon my head. RATS!
So let's just hear from Benjamin Franklin right now. He says, The value of money lies in what we do with it. Let's meditate on that for a moment. That's a good one. There are so many excellent philosophies in life. How come I can't ever think of any of them until after the fact they would have been useful?
Oh, the roofer came by this morning, thank goodness. We stood outside and talked. He smelled of ciggy smoke big-time. He wasn't actually smoking but the smokey scent from his clothes and self sent, ha, a stench straight into my nose, the one that's growing. My nostrils burned with it for hours. Talk about a lingering effect. I should have used my nose watering pot immediately, but I didn't. I forgot. How?, I don't know.
KEM
So let's just hear from Benjamin Franklin right now. He says, The value of money lies in what we do with it. Let's meditate on that for a moment. That's a good one. There are so many excellent philosophies in life. How come I can't ever think of any of them until after the fact they would have been useful?
Oh, the roofer came by this morning, thank goodness. We stood outside and talked. He smelled of ciggy smoke big-time. He wasn't actually smoking but the smokey scent from his clothes and self sent, ha, a stench straight into my nose, the one that's growing. My nostrils burned with it for hours. Talk about a lingering effect. I should have used my nose watering pot immediately, but I didn't. I forgot. How?, I don't know.
KEM
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Men . . . Honestly
Mike read my blog and said, Your nose is not getting bigger, what are you talking about, this is ridiculous. I replied, Yes, it is so getting bigger. He puffs, How do you know, did you MEASURE IT? Of course I didn't MEASURE IT. A glance in the mirror tells me all the unfortunate data I need to know. How would you measure your nose anyhow? Men . . . honestly.
Then he tells me to hurry up and get ready to go look at roofs (we need a new roof) and glasses frames. I was working (emailing) at the computer. I said, I'm getting my shower. He said, No, you are not. I said, Yes, I am getting my shower now. He said, No, you are sitting at the computer. Doesn't he know I was multi-tasking. I was sitting at the computer and MENTALLY PREPARING for my shower. Men . . . honestly.
So we go out to the shingles store. Except we don't have an exact address, so I should rather say, We went out to SEARCH for the shingles store. The roofer just told Mike, 38th Avenue and 30th Street. So, we don't even know which side of 38th Avenue he's talking about. We drive up and down one end of 30th St. Then we cross over the BUSY 38th to the other end of 30th. Up and down, reading all the storefronts. Finally, The Smart One says, Stop and ask someone!!!! So, he finds out the shingles store is down some little lane, but we're still not finding it as this is an industrial area and some of the buildings have no sign. We finally check out Eagle Enterprises at THE VERY END and that is it. I'm so glad I rushed to get my shower so we could drive all over everywhere killing time. Men . . . honestly.
Then we drove across town in heavy rush hour traffic, to the vision store because Mike needs new glasses, he surely does. At least we found the place, we've been there before. Too bad it was closed. CLOSED ON THURSDAY. A quick call and we would have avoided that one. Men . . . honestly. I will say, though, it should have been opened, seems like it USED to be open on Thursday.
Mike will have a fit when he reads this. But I say it all in good cheer. Besides, I needed short blogging material tonight. Have to do my back exercises, my back is burning to go along with burning eyes. Have to get some sleep because I am being taken to my birthday lunch by GAD tomorrow. This is the best I've ever stretched out my birthday, 48 days. I'm lovin' it! That means 48 blogs, give or take a little. ONLY 48 BLOGS! Wow, seems like if you added a zero that would be more like it.
Well, little dear Mikey, maybe I will you let post a blog about me sometime, so you can get even :--- Except I get to read it first. Besides, I make fun of myself on this blog all the time. Since he's married to me, all is fair, I get to snitch on him sometimes.
KEM . . . honestly.
P.S. Tonight I wrote a story and a first happened. I looked up a word in Webster, and then the next word I needed was on the same page. AND, hold your hat, the third word I wanted was ALSO ON THE SAME PAGE. Not even on the page across. ALL THREE WORDS WERE ON THE SAME EXACT PAGE. I cannot emphasize this enough as it is close to a miracle. Besides the letters X, Z, Q, Y and K, of all letters, KEM does not approve, J has the least pages in the dictionary. My words were J words. There are only 11 pages of J words. Isn't that interesting? X only has one page. Not even a full page. Pitiful.
Okay, gotta go, Mike put me on curfew, isn't he busy bossing me around? That's because I might not get a nap tomorrow afternoon after my birthday lunch. I might have to stay awake to hand the roofer his money to get started. Scary. I might have to do it because Mike is going out of town to visit his mother. I wonder if I paid DTD if she would come over and hand the check over? Just kidding.
Then he tells me to hurry up and get ready to go look at roofs (we need a new roof) and glasses frames. I was working (emailing) at the computer. I said, I'm getting my shower. He said, No, you are not. I said, Yes, I am getting my shower now. He said, No, you are sitting at the computer. Doesn't he know I was multi-tasking. I was sitting at the computer and MENTALLY PREPARING for my shower. Men . . . honestly.
So we go out to the shingles store. Except we don't have an exact address, so I should rather say, We went out to SEARCH for the shingles store. The roofer just told Mike, 38th Avenue and 30th Street. So, we don't even know which side of 38th Avenue he's talking about. We drive up and down one end of 30th St. Then we cross over the BUSY 38th to the other end of 30th. Up and down, reading all the storefronts. Finally, The Smart One says, Stop and ask someone!!!! So, he finds out the shingles store is down some little lane, but we're still not finding it as this is an industrial area and some of the buildings have no sign. We finally check out Eagle Enterprises at THE VERY END and that is it. I'm so glad I rushed to get my shower so we could drive all over everywhere killing time. Men . . . honestly.
Then we drove across town in heavy rush hour traffic, to the vision store because Mike needs new glasses, he surely does. At least we found the place, we've been there before. Too bad it was closed. CLOSED ON THURSDAY. A quick call and we would have avoided that one. Men . . . honestly. I will say, though, it should have been opened, seems like it USED to be open on Thursday.
Mike will have a fit when he reads this. But I say it all in good cheer. Besides, I needed short blogging material tonight. Have to do my back exercises, my back is burning to go along with burning eyes. Have to get some sleep because I am being taken to my birthday lunch by GAD tomorrow. This is the best I've ever stretched out my birthday, 48 days. I'm lovin' it! That means 48 blogs, give or take a little. ONLY 48 BLOGS! Wow, seems like if you added a zero that would be more like it.
Well, little dear Mikey, maybe I will you let post a blog about me sometime, so you can get even :--- Except I get to read it first. Besides, I make fun of myself on this blog all the time. Since he's married to me, all is fair, I get to snitch on him sometimes.
KEM . . . honestly.
P.S. Tonight I wrote a story and a first happened. I looked up a word in Webster, and then the next word I needed was on the same page. AND, hold your hat, the third word I wanted was ALSO ON THE SAME PAGE. Not even on the page across. ALL THREE WORDS WERE ON THE SAME EXACT PAGE. I cannot emphasize this enough as it is close to a miracle. Besides the letters X, Z, Q, Y and K, of all letters, KEM does not approve, J has the least pages in the dictionary. My words were J words. There are only 11 pages of J words. Isn't that interesting? X only has one page. Not even a full page. Pitiful.
Okay, gotta go, Mike put me on curfew, isn't he busy bossing me around? That's because I might not get a nap tomorrow afternoon after my birthday lunch. I might have to stay awake to hand the roofer his money to get started. Scary. I might have to do it because Mike is going out of town to visit his mother. I wonder if I paid DTD if she would come over and hand the check over? Just kidding.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
So My Nose is Growing
Pardon me for a very short post (no popping corks, now), but my nose appears to be engaged in a growth spurt. This is very depressing and instead of blogging I must visit Crest Whitestrips website and learn how to whiten my teeth, which I have never done before but will be a nice consolation against the beastly nose. Webster tells me beastly means nasty, unpleasant, disagreeable. That's a start. How dare the nose enlarge at this stage of my life? But I must whiten NOW because I have an opened box of Whitestrips that is set to expire sometime in 2009 (see below). Now, I know many people and relatives in particular who find some kind of pleasure in consuming expired food, medicines and whatever else is able to expire, like cosmetics and motor oil. The longer it's been expired, the better. But that is not how I choose to function, each to his or her own. We've been down this dirt road before, haven't we?
Okay, so 28 strips came in this box, 14 upper teeth, 14 lower. I was actually amazed to find that there are exactly 9 strips left in each category. Wouldn't you have thought there would have been maybe 17 lower strips and one lone upper? That's how I think. I impulsively bought this box for DTD, not that she needs whiter teeth, but she has used them before and it'd been awhile. In typical fashion, she didn't use them all so I, in typical fashion, got charged as Leftovers Keeper, which leftovers have been cluttering my bathroom counter for, lo, these many months. A long time ago I read on the box 05/NO/2009. In one of my finer "gorilla"/"cherry juice" moments, I couldn't figure out what NO meant. Not in the least. Just like I can't figure out how to turn off these italics, grr. It's the computer, I promise you. I thought NO meant NO!, as opposed to YES! Anyway, I called customer service and asked, what does 05/NO/2009 mean? This is scary, isn't it? You already know what it means, so I will not insult you by telling you. Don't bother repeating this to DTD. Thank you.
I also have to sit here and order an eyebrow sponge pencil. My eyebrows need LOTS of help. I'm going to write a book about it. In fact, the book is written. CDW and I wrote it. It just needs putting together and editing. Pages of our book, which is really our printed out emails, reside in kitchen trash bags up in my bedroom, so please no one throw them away by accident, PLEASE. I know a sad story where someone's old letters from friends were placed in a "trash" sack and when someone took out the trash, well, they took out the "trash." Not pretty.
Okay, so toodles for tonight. I stayed up ALL NIGHT last night, which leaves me with very little anything tonight . . . as in nothing. However, I shall force my bleary eyes to read the online directions for Whitestrips because of course the paper directions that came in the box have long since made their way to Toy Town. I have seen the directions on the Crest website, they are pages and pages long and very intimidating. (Which should teach me something about the lengths of some of my blogs, but it won't.) And the instructions frightened me, people come up with the strangest hypothetical dilemmas, so I didn't read them yet -- as soon as I read the freaky problems, I will own them. But now I'm down to the wire and MUST make a move before the strips expire and are rendered unserviceable to me, maybe not to my relatives. I also have to sit here and examine the DHC Catalog and figure out what to order besides eyebrow sponge, which smudges in my eyebrows. I mean, if you have to pay shipping and all that good garbage, let's make it worth it. But it is very urgent to get this eyebrow fix ordered. I'm getting nervous, I should have ordered it weeks ago, I'm almost OUT. Then what?
Whiter teeth and eyebrow help OTW (on the way),
KEM
Okay, so 28 strips came in this box, 14 upper teeth, 14 lower. I was actually amazed to find that there are exactly 9 strips left in each category. Wouldn't you have thought there would have been maybe 17 lower strips and one lone upper? That's how I think. I impulsively bought this box for DTD, not that she needs whiter teeth, but she has used them before and it'd been awhile. In typical fashion, she didn't use them all so I, in typical fashion, got charged as Leftovers Keeper, which leftovers have been cluttering my bathroom counter for, lo, these many months. A long time ago I read on the box 05/NO/2009. In one of my finer "gorilla"/"cherry juice" moments, I couldn't figure out what NO meant. Not in the least. Just like I can't figure out how to turn off these italics, grr. It's the computer, I promise you. I thought NO meant NO!, as opposed to YES! Anyway, I called customer service and asked, what does 05/NO/2009 mean? This is scary, isn't it? You already know what it means, so I will not insult you by telling you. Don't bother repeating this to DTD. Thank you.
I also have to sit here and order an eyebrow sponge pencil. My eyebrows need LOTS of help. I'm going to write a book about it. In fact, the book is written. CDW and I wrote it. It just needs putting together and editing. Pages of our book, which is really our printed out emails, reside in kitchen trash bags up in my bedroom, so please no one throw them away by accident, PLEASE. I know a sad story where someone's old letters from friends were placed in a "trash" sack and when someone took out the trash, well, they took out the "trash." Not pretty.
Okay, so toodles for tonight. I stayed up ALL NIGHT last night, which leaves me with very little anything tonight . . . as in nothing. However, I shall force my bleary eyes to read the online directions for Whitestrips because of course the paper directions that came in the box have long since made their way to Toy Town. I have seen the directions on the Crest website, they are pages and pages long and very intimidating. (Which should teach me something about the lengths of some of my blogs, but it won't.) And the instructions frightened me, people come up with the strangest hypothetical dilemmas, so I didn't read them yet -- as soon as I read the freaky problems, I will own them. But now I'm down to the wire and MUST make a move before the strips expire and are rendered unserviceable to me, maybe not to my relatives. I also have to sit here and examine the DHC Catalog and figure out what to order besides eyebrow sponge, which smudges in my eyebrows. I mean, if you have to pay shipping and all that good garbage, let's make it worth it. But it is very urgent to get this eyebrow fix ordered. I'm getting nervous, I should have ordered it weeks ago, I'm almost OUT. Then what?
Whiter teeth and eyebrow help OTW (on the way),
KEM
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Curious George Goes to the Hospital and So Does My Daughter
Happy October 13, 2009,
As you know, you Blog-Keeper-Uppers, I love and adore old-timey children's stories. My sister and I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED the book Good Night, Moon. The artwork alone was other-worldly charming. So different and cozy -- the sum of color, tidiness, harmony and simplicity. And to find that ratty little mouse in all the pictures. Come on, it doesn't get any more fun. UNLESS . . .
. . . Unless you check with DTD. Good Night, Moon bored her to tears. Or something. She didn't like it, definitely she did not. DTD has always known her own mind. Some of the things she rejected boggled my brains, but, hey, more power to her. She isn't one one to waffle either. Unlike her mother who can't even pick out something to eat from a restaurant menu. It ALL sounds good. Not to DTD it doesn't. SHE has DISCRETION.
So, she did have books that appealed to her. And the Curious George books were well-received. I always appreciated Curious George myself. That monkey possessed the triple threat of children's literature. He had sass, the polite variety, mild sauce and spunk galore. And he was always so angelic looking in the midst of his messes. So likeable. I think we can all relate to the jams he created for himself. DTD, when interested in a book, really studied the thing out. I could see her little pensive face, her little wheels chugging, absorbing everything the story and pictures had to offer. Which was PUH-LENTY Oh, and her father's name happens to be George.
Curious George Goes to the Hospital. Yep, that one was a BIG hit with DTD. By the way, I Googled it to check if I had the title just right. And I did, I remembered after all these years! The cover art shows George in front of an array of first-aid equipment. I do remember him being VERY CURIOUS about stethoscopes and things. While I was looking at this Curious George website, I pushed the back button or clicked on the cover or something and a site came up, SURPRISE!, called Persons of Taste -- A Movie Review Forum with Factions (whatever that means). It noted that Persons of Little or No Taste were welcome also. So, the review for George Goes to the Hospital said, A monkey on ether, what's not to like? Honestly, how on earth did pushing the back button take me to this site? I have such a knack. Oh, and George shows his curiosity over the medical implements by placing his pointer finger on his lips. I DO THAT, TOO.
I'm not sure how many times I read CGGtotheHospital, but the number would be up there. One morning I got up and went into the kitchen, just like any other morning (that's right, I used to get up in the morning). And you know the feeling of abruptly stopping in your tracks? Well, that morning I stopped in my tracks because "something was not right," to borrow from Madeline. I just knew something was wrong, even thought it took me a second to grasp exactly WHAT that was. I'll tell you what wasn't right. The night before there had been a safety pin on the kitchen counter. And now there was not a safety pin on the kitchen counter. I immediately had a very bad feeling and ran to ask George if he'd seen or taken a safety pin off the counter. I think he remembered seeing it but he definitely had left it alone. Soooo, seriously and gently, without FREAKING OUT and alarming 2 year old DTD, we asked her, Baby, did you swallow the safety pin that was on the kitchen counter? This was the logical question because, if you recall, Curious George Goes to the Hospital because he SWALLOWED A PIECE OF A PUZZLE. DTD did not say anything, she didn't shake or nod her head, she just looked away. That meant the answer was YES. Because if the answer was NO, she would have said NO. That was her way.
DTD seemed to be okay, but I am internally FREAKING because my mind jumped to worse case scenario, WHAT IF THE PIN WAS OPEN? I know that is a stretch because she would have surely gagged on it or choked to death, oh, the thought of it is wretched still. But it is a mother's prerogative (try finding THAT in the dictionary) to squeeze out every last drop of drama if she is going to be put through the likes if this. So of course she had to be taken to the hospital, JUST LIKE GEORGE. DTD got to don a little miniature white hospital gown, JUST LIKE GEORGE. She got X rays, JUST LIKE GEORGE. She had to lie perfectly still, just like somebody else. In fact, the X ray tech said that DTD followed instructions better than adults. Sure enough, the pictures showed a safety pin down in her little tummy. A CLOSED pin. TOTAL FLOODING of RELIEF for this old KEM, who tripled her age in those few hours.
I wonder if DTD was disappointed she didn't get to stay overnight in the hospital, just like Curious G. I'm absolutely positive that was the plan. She swallowed the safety pin for one reason and for one reason only. She wanted to get in that hospital. She wanted to lie on that table and have an X ray and see a picture of that safety pin in her tummy. And have the nurses fussing over her, administering shots and pills, taking vital signs. And get a fancy operation, the whole nine yards, exactly like George. She was Curious to see what ails the other kids in the hospital, too. How 'bout some ice cream after the surgery? Or entertaining the other patients by performing a puppet show and spinning around on a record player until you fly off? And experimenting with a wheelchair, such a Curious thing, and slipping out of the room, speeding out of control down the hall ramp. Then instigating a riot crashing into meal carts, making a Curious mess and landing in the Mayor's arms. And becoming an instant celebrity because you made the sad, scared kid in the hospital finally laugh. This would all be NO PROBLEM, because of course George's operation is a big success. The puzzle piece is removed and the nurse gives it to him in a box to take home to finish the puzzle, the very last piece. Which is why George went to the hospital in the first place. When he and the Man with the Yellow Hat tried to put the puzzle together, there was one piece missing. Then George didn't feel very well and off they went to the hospital for X rays. Which is why we ended up in the hospital in the second place.
In my research, ahem, I learned that this book was the final installment in the original Curious George series of seven. Also, Kirkus Reviews writes:
"While beginning readers are convinced that they are enjoying themselves with George, their supervising adults are equally sure that they are learning something."
Oh, yeah, baby. Amen and amen.
Live and Learn,
KEM
As you know, you Blog-Keeper-Uppers, I love and adore old-timey children's stories. My sister and I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED the book Good Night, Moon. The artwork alone was other-worldly charming. So different and cozy -- the sum of color, tidiness, harmony and simplicity. And to find that ratty little mouse in all the pictures. Come on, it doesn't get any more fun. UNLESS . . .
. . . Unless you check with DTD. Good Night, Moon bored her to tears. Or something. She didn't like it, definitely she did not. DTD has always known her own mind. Some of the things she rejected boggled my brains, but, hey, more power to her. She isn't one one to waffle either. Unlike her mother who can't even pick out something to eat from a restaurant menu. It ALL sounds good. Not to DTD it doesn't. SHE has DISCRETION.
So, she did have books that appealed to her. And the Curious George books were well-received. I always appreciated Curious George myself. That monkey possessed the triple threat of children's literature. He had sass, the polite variety, mild sauce and spunk galore. And he was always so angelic looking in the midst of his messes. So likeable. I think we can all relate to the jams he created for himself. DTD, when interested in a book, really studied the thing out. I could see her little pensive face, her little wheels chugging, absorbing everything the story and pictures had to offer. Which was PUH-LENTY Oh, and her father's name happens to be George.
Curious George Goes to the Hospital. Yep, that one was a BIG hit with DTD. By the way, I Googled it to check if I had the title just right. And I did, I remembered after all these years! The cover art shows George in front of an array of first-aid equipment. I do remember him being VERY CURIOUS about stethoscopes and things. While I was looking at this Curious George website, I pushed the back button or clicked on the cover or something and a site came up, SURPRISE!, called Persons of Taste -- A Movie Review Forum with Factions (whatever that means). It noted that Persons of Little or No Taste were welcome also. So, the review for George Goes to the Hospital said, A monkey on ether, what's not to like? Honestly, how on earth did pushing the back button take me to this site? I have such a knack. Oh, and George shows his curiosity over the medical implements by placing his pointer finger on his lips. I DO THAT, TOO.
I'm not sure how many times I read CGGtotheHospital, but the number would be up there. One morning I got up and went into the kitchen, just like any other morning (that's right, I used to get up in the morning). And you know the feeling of abruptly stopping in your tracks? Well, that morning I stopped in my tracks because "something was not right," to borrow from Madeline. I just knew something was wrong, even thought it took me a second to grasp exactly WHAT that was. I'll tell you what wasn't right. The night before there had been a safety pin on the kitchen counter. And now there was not a safety pin on the kitchen counter. I immediately had a very bad feeling and ran to ask George if he'd seen or taken a safety pin off the counter. I think he remembered seeing it but he definitely had left it alone. Soooo, seriously and gently, without FREAKING OUT and alarming 2 year old DTD, we asked her, Baby, did you swallow the safety pin that was on the kitchen counter? This was the logical question because, if you recall, Curious George Goes to the Hospital because he SWALLOWED A PIECE OF A PUZZLE. DTD did not say anything, she didn't shake or nod her head, she just looked away. That meant the answer was YES. Because if the answer was NO, she would have said NO. That was her way.
DTD seemed to be okay, but I am internally FREAKING because my mind jumped to worse case scenario, WHAT IF THE PIN WAS OPEN? I know that is a stretch because she would have surely gagged on it or choked to death, oh, the thought of it is wretched still. But it is a mother's prerogative (try finding THAT in the dictionary) to squeeze out every last drop of drama if she is going to be put through the likes if this. So of course she had to be taken to the hospital, JUST LIKE GEORGE. DTD got to don a little miniature white hospital gown, JUST LIKE GEORGE. She got X rays, JUST LIKE GEORGE. She had to lie perfectly still, just like somebody else. In fact, the X ray tech said that DTD followed instructions better than adults. Sure enough, the pictures showed a safety pin down in her little tummy. A CLOSED pin. TOTAL FLOODING of RELIEF for this old KEM, who tripled her age in those few hours.
I wonder if DTD was disappointed she didn't get to stay overnight in the hospital, just like Curious G. I'm absolutely positive that was the plan. She swallowed the safety pin for one reason and for one reason only. She wanted to get in that hospital. She wanted to lie on that table and have an X ray and see a picture of that safety pin in her tummy. And have the nurses fussing over her, administering shots and pills, taking vital signs. And get a fancy operation, the whole nine yards, exactly like George. She was Curious to see what ails the other kids in the hospital, too. How 'bout some ice cream after the surgery? Or entertaining the other patients by performing a puppet show and spinning around on a record player until you fly off? And experimenting with a wheelchair, such a Curious thing, and slipping out of the room, speeding out of control down the hall ramp. Then instigating a riot crashing into meal carts, making a Curious mess and landing in the Mayor's arms. And becoming an instant celebrity because you made the sad, scared kid in the hospital finally laugh. This would all be NO PROBLEM, because of course George's operation is a big success. The puzzle piece is removed and the nurse gives it to him in a box to take home to finish the puzzle, the very last piece. Which is why George went to the hospital in the first place. When he and the Man with the Yellow Hat tried to put the puzzle together, there was one piece missing. Then George didn't feel very well and off they went to the hospital for X rays. Which is why we ended up in the hospital in the second place.
In my research, ahem, I learned that this book was the final installment in the original Curious George series of seven. Also, Kirkus Reviews writes:
"While beginning readers are convinced that they are enjoying themselves with George, their supervising adults are equally sure that they are learning something."
Oh, yeah, baby. Amen and amen.
Live and Learn,
KEM
Monday, October 12, 2009
Me No Like Broccoli
I am not crazy for broccoli. Only if it's in cheesy soup. Pretending I'm eating a tree doesn't work.
Shortest Post EVER,
KEM
Shortest Post EVER,
KEM
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Rattles of Pots and Pans and Paris
Dear Fellow Old Movie Lovers,
So, we watched the yard sale movie tonight. It was the saddest thing ever, and now I'm too worn out to blog. What is with Elizabeth Taylor anyway, did she only make tear jerkers of the Nth degree? She certainly has a way. Remember the other movie I told you to run out and get, Waterloo Bridge, the movie starring Miss Taylor that is guaranteed to strip all joy from your being forever? Well, The Last Time I Saw Paris is right up there. RUSH out and get it, don't wait. You can even borrow my copy.
All I can do now is Google Van Johnson. He is a BRILLIANT actor, if brilliance is judged by the number of tears he causes one to cry. I wish I could bottle and sell the tears he made me shed, the tears that soaked my eyes and eyelashes, glasses, face, neck and shirt. ALL BECAUSE OF HIM. Except, who would buy my tears?
I used my Cameo Aluminum and Stainless Steel Powdered Cleanser on my omelet pan. The paper towels kept coming up black. Pan does look shinier, but I get the ominous feeling I could scour away for a lifetime and the paper towels would keep coming up just as black. You know, I'm always a little suspicious of people and their yard sale junk. If this pan is only the limit, a family heirloom, why on earth are they getting rid of it? For 2 bucks?? So I ask, can't help it, It's such a lovely pan, how can you part with it? The lady said, We were tired of seasoning the pan, we use Teflon now. Oh.
Mike read my blog from yesterday this morning. He was fully expecting omelets for lunch. But the yard sale so finished me off that I'm afraid I slept through church. I slept not IN church, but rather at home in my bed. So, I slept through lunch, too. HOWEVER, I did try out the omelet pan in the middle of the night when I was hungry. I took my severely undercooked eggs, the ones I didn't REALLY want to slurp up through a straw. I cracked them in lots of butter in yard sale aluminum pan and scrambled them. They were scrumptious. I mean, it's hard to beat a scrambled egg, isn't it? The pan must be kept, I read on the bottom that it is called DURA-WARE (so NOW we know why lady wrote on tag, So durable you can leave it in your will). Shows a little cartoon imprint of a chef with big pot settled in front of him (reminds me of the Cream of Wheat man, tall white chef's hat and everything). In one hand he's holding the lid and with the other he's making a circle with his thumb and pointer finger because everything is JUST DANDY cooking with DURA-WARE, don't you know. The lid and pot have little dashes coming out from them to draw attention to their spanky glory. MADE IN USA 907. NEW YORK in on there, need we boast more? Yes, we need to, because last and not least, Michigan is stamped on there also. A circle says, NSF Testing Laboratory, Ann Arbor, Mich. How 'bout them taters? Cook up your dinners in DURA-WARE and everything will taste superb, just like my granny's Michigan dinners. Everything somehow comes 'round full circle for me, beginning and ending with Michigan.
Did we just have a weekend? I'm still back in last week somewhere.
EXHAUSTED from the Paris movie,
KEM
So, we watched the yard sale movie tonight. It was the saddest thing ever, and now I'm too worn out to blog. What is with Elizabeth Taylor anyway, did she only make tear jerkers of the Nth degree? She certainly has a way. Remember the other movie I told you to run out and get, Waterloo Bridge, the movie starring Miss Taylor that is guaranteed to strip all joy from your being forever? Well, The Last Time I Saw Paris is right up there. RUSH out and get it, don't wait. You can even borrow my copy.
All I can do now is Google Van Johnson. He is a BRILLIANT actor, if brilliance is judged by the number of tears he causes one to cry. I wish I could bottle and sell the tears he made me shed, the tears that soaked my eyes and eyelashes, glasses, face, neck and shirt. ALL BECAUSE OF HIM. Except, who would buy my tears?
I used my Cameo Aluminum and Stainless Steel Powdered Cleanser on my omelet pan. The paper towels kept coming up black. Pan does look shinier, but I get the ominous feeling I could scour away for a lifetime and the paper towels would keep coming up just as black. You know, I'm always a little suspicious of people and their yard sale junk. If this pan is only the limit, a family heirloom, why on earth are they getting rid of it? For 2 bucks?? So I ask, can't help it, It's such a lovely pan, how can you part with it? The lady said, We were tired of seasoning the pan, we use Teflon now. Oh.
Mike read my blog from yesterday this morning. He was fully expecting omelets for lunch. But the yard sale so finished me off that I'm afraid I slept through church. I slept not IN church, but rather at home in my bed. So, I slept through lunch, too. HOWEVER, I did try out the omelet pan in the middle of the night when I was hungry. I took my severely undercooked eggs, the ones I didn't REALLY want to slurp up through a straw. I cracked them in lots of butter in yard sale aluminum pan and scrambled them. They were scrumptious. I mean, it's hard to beat a scrambled egg, isn't it? The pan must be kept, I read on the bottom that it is called DURA-WARE (so NOW we know why lady wrote on tag, So durable you can leave it in your will). Shows a little cartoon imprint of a chef with big pot settled in front of him (reminds me of the Cream of Wheat man, tall white chef's hat and everything). In one hand he's holding the lid and with the other he's making a circle with his thumb and pointer finger because everything is JUST DANDY cooking with DURA-WARE, don't you know. The lid and pot have little dashes coming out from them to draw attention to their spanky glory. MADE IN USA 907. NEW YORK in on there, need we boast more? Yes, we need to, because last and not least, Michigan is stamped on there also. A circle says, NSF Testing Laboratory, Ann Arbor, Mich. How 'bout them taters? Cook up your dinners in DURA-WARE and everything will taste superb, just like my granny's Michigan dinners. Everything somehow comes 'round full circle for me, beginning and ending with Michigan.
Did we just have a weekend? I'm still back in last week somewhere.
EXHAUSTED from the Paris movie,
KEM
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