There is a problem with the tree skirt doubling as a woman skirt. You would have to have a waist the size of Scarlett O'Hara's. Or maybe less. For Corn's sake, it won't even close around my Christmas tree and I hiked it all the way up to the trunk because it wouldn't even begin to close lower around the stand. Well, it looks good, even though it's a shame I can't button it up and make it look REALLY good, but such is the story of my life with decor. I asked Mike again today, Do I return the Can Can or do we scrunch a white blanket? He said, What is this, deja vu? I am sick and I cannot spell, so don't worry about it. Too rich food lately. Yesterday at Nordstrom's I managed a bowl (not a cup) of the lobster chowder, or what have you, plus a spinach and beet salad with goat cheese and sugared pecans and fancy dressing. At the choir party I ate a caramel sandwich. How does one do that, you may ask? By spreading caramel designed for dipping apple slices on white bread. This had to be done because the apples, I ate two of them, tasted like chemicals. What on earth do they drench them in so they won't turn brown? It's not lemon juice. I think this tray came made up from the grocery. Then I had pretzels and M & M's and peanuts covered in white chocolate. Plus Doritos and Coke. I went ape, I'm telling you. But it was all to avoid the Sam's Club beef brisket, which was the main attraction. Mrs. Carrot Souflett's son bit into his beef brisket sandwich and promptly announced that he just found a huge wad of fat in his mouth. He took it out, which I didn't see, but I know he did, because the next thing, he's holding it up in his palm saying, It looks like a cyst. Well, it did look like a big bubble. Okay, so why am I grossing everyone out, especially me? This boy, by the way, is adorable, and a civil engineer. He's BRAINY. And blunt.
So tonight I went to the "health" food store and came home with Wild Mushroom Penne Pasta, which just so happens to be loaded with heavy cream and sour cream and cheese. My midnight snack was a ham sandwich and glass of milk, and that, folks, is when the nausea crept up. Good thing I didn't make DTD'S birthday cupcakes tonight. I would have been licking the bowl and that, no doubt, would have been the last straw.
Have I told you that my school lunches used to make me sick? Not all of them. I adored the Friday tuna sandwiches. But Keswick's Shepherd's Pie?? Whoa, my friend Cindy had to take that off my plate (and numerous other kids', too). Take it off in a hurry. It was abominable. So, for years after, whenever I felt nauseous, my mind would beeline back to that lunchroom where the dish for the day came up Shepherd's Pie. Then I would feel sicker. Somehow, I have outgrown this dreadful connection . . . I hope. Anyway, I could pile up tuna sandwiches with the best of them.
You know what, Mike's church Christmas music service is in the morning. I'd better try to sleep off this food, and I've learned my lesson. Rich food is not my favorite anymore. Not to mention it won't help the Can Can skirt fasten any easier.
Guess what? It's DTD'S birthday. And another special person's, too. So, isn't that lovely?
Hark! One last year to call DTD, DTD. Then I shall have to invent something new and appropriate.
The night before DTD was born, I insisted we drive 30 minutes to Greensboro so I could eat pancakes from IHOP. I was in some sort of labor, but I've never figured it out. Save that story for another day.
Chow, chow,
KEM
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Hi Everyone. CEF (Child Evangelism Fellowship) sent out a newsletter that was so sweet, that I want to pass it on to you.
CEF Suncoast Chapter Praises and Prayers
Greetings brothers and sisters! How often in our busy lives to we realize that God’s grace is sufficient for us. It is our fleshly desires that tells us we need to have this, or we have to do that. When the truth is, just knowing that Jesus Christ paid the penalty for our sins, and through our faith in His work, we have a home in Heaven is enough. Through God’s grace this ministry is able to share what Christ did for us with others. Everything else is just a blessing from the Lord. As adults it may be a little easier for us to recognize that, but when a child does….it is just AMAZING!
This is a prayer request a child turned in this week at Good News Club: “Dear God, I pray before you because I love you and what I dream to do is thank you Lord for everything and all I have I am thankful to you.”
Jayde.
Exodus 15:2 “The Lord is my strength and song, and He is become my salvation; He is my God…..”
WOW, now Jayde's prayer, let's use the word AWESOME! How was that for encouraging???
On a far lesser note (KEM here), even a shabby note, compared to the above, I had lunch with a dear childhood friend, my "little sister," Barb. (That is not the lesser or shabby part, time with Barb is a treasure.) But we got on the subject of No Hands can openers. I was telling her my sob story and she said, I have one of those and I love it. This gives me hope. I, too, shall find a way to love my Hands Off can opener. Barb cleans her blade by turning it (hers has a knob to do that, mine doesn't) and rubbing a paper towel on it. Her opener was a more deluxe version, I think, but I hope mine will do that somehow and I don't have to dissect it every time. See, I told you this was lesser.
And lesser still, I was on the verge of returning the Can Can Christmas Tree Skirt and using a fluffy white throw instead when Mike announced, The Can Can adds pizazz, keep it. He acknowledged that it might not go with my color scheme, but that will be nothing new around here. What color scheme? I've never had a color scheme a day in my life. Besides the Can Can can serve double duty when I need to dress up for a costume party (which is never).
And least of all, remember how I spilled salad dressing a while back on my brand new red J. Jill sweater, quicker than quick? Well, I still wear the sweater, no washy yet. And today I wanted to reexamine the spot, but I cannot locate it, even though I KNOW it is on the ribbed left sleeve cuff, to the right of the seam. Where did it go? Honestly, it was the size of a nickel. Am I losing it? Tonight at the choir Christmas party I asked a man, Remember your birthday cake after choir practice? He said, No. I said, Well, you had a cake and now another choir member and I are arguing over how old you are. So, how old are you? He said, How old did you think I was? I said, Well, you don't look it, but you said you were 80. He said, I'm 75 and I don't remember a thing you're saying. I said, Maybe you were kidding me, but I really thought you said you were 85. In fact, I KNOW it. Well, the cake happened in January. He doesn't remember any of it, and apparently I don't either. The other choir person said he was 75, so I lose that one.
Then, still at the choir party tonight, I said to the lady next to me, I really liked your carrot souflette (sp) that you brought to a church dinner one time. She looked at me like my last marble had rolled out of my head and across the floor. I don't make carrot souflette, she said matter-of-factly. I said, You most certainly do, and it's delicious. To which she replied, I've never made carrot souflette in my life, I always bring broccoli casserole to the dinners. I said, No, you brought carrot souflette (would really help if I could spell the main word of this story) and you told me, when I inquired, that you used butter, not margarine, and that the Picadilly Cafeteria serves this carrot souflette and furthermore the recipe was in the newspaper, which I KNOW it was, I cut it out. Meanwhile, her grown son is piping in that his mother has never made carrot souflette (nothing like a gang up) and just exactly what is my vision of carrot souflette? I said, I don't know, eggs, butter, milk, sugar. He informed, Mom makes mashed carrots with salt and butter only. WELL, WHATEVER, carrot souflette in my book. She mashes them like potatoes. She finished up by saying, I never brought mashed carrots to a church dinner.
Folks, I GIVE UP. But in the Dirty Santa gift exchange I got a really neat gift, for once in my life. At first I opened a picture book from a movie on the nativity. Included was a candle holder carved with the manger scene. Someone shouted, That is from Israel! I said, It says here, MADE IN CHINA. So I sat down and thumbed through the book because I adore looking at pictures of the Holy Land. Not sure if they filmed the movie in Israel, but I pretended they did. Fortunately, someone stole my gift and my new gift was a $10 gift card to the grocery store. I liked that. The carrot souflette boy had gone first in the exchange, so he got to go last, too. He wanted my Publix gift card, but he had compassion because I am a family, or part of one, whereas he is a young bachelor, so he didn't steal it.
The carrot souflette lady, who was almost last to go, ended up picking out the gift I had brought, which was a CD of some coffee music. It has a German title and she tried to read it to the group. When she sat down next to me, not knowing it was my gift, of course, she gave it the once over and then shrugged to her husband, trying to make the best of a bum pick, It might not be that bad. HA! I bought several of these CD's once upon a time and it was just aching to be delivered from the prison of the gift box. Well, the carrot souflette lady cracks me up any day of the year, and she certainly did not disappoint tonight.
Then I won Bingo. Boy, was this a banner night, or what? Carrot Souflette Woman said, Let's play E Bingo. She was dying to win, but I won, Gary and I both won, but I shouted BINGO! first and got to pick my prize, which was a huge ball ornament full of who knows what. Gary got the reject. Then the choir gave me a $50 gift card to Macy's, way to go choir.
This Gary, during the dinner he folded green construction papers and made a three dimensional Christmas tree out of them. Everyone at the table oohed and aahed. Then he and three others stood in front of the group and were asked to take a sheet of green construction paper and make a Christmas tree out of it . . . behind their backs. I handed Gary his fancy tree and said, Hold this out front when time us up. So, that's what he did and, needless to say, his work of art tree was quite superior to the torn shabby blobs of trees everyone else produced. But since he cheated, it didn't count.
As far as the Dirty Santa, the two women in charge of the party had two separate and distinct ideas how to handle it, do Dirty Santa, or don't. The one lady is a hoot and she said, Whatever everyone wants. So, of course, we all wanted Dirty Santa. Halfway through it, she lost track of which number was next, so she waved her hand and sorta slurred, Whoever, whatever, I don't care. It was funny and I thought, She's getting soaked. But on what? Gary said, You been hitting the bottle?, echoing my sentiments exactly. Oh, and she was the one who got my friend's gift. My friend, I watched him do it in his house, picked an old used Gaiter Trio CD from his stash and proceded to wrap it in the Toys 'R Us newspaper ad, which at least boasted the Christmas colors. The lady did a country jig upon the revelation of this exquisite gift. I'm telling you, we had a jolly good time.
Okay, the Jazz went out in the bitter cold and now she must have her Greenie toothbrush for a treat, which is almost as fabulous as a sweet potato french fry -- but falls far short of a car ride.
KEM the Blogger and not the Housecleaner
CEF Suncoast Chapter Praises and Prayers
Greetings brothers and sisters! How often in our busy lives to we realize that God’s grace is sufficient for us. It is our fleshly desires that tells us we need to have this, or we have to do that. When the truth is, just knowing that Jesus Christ paid the penalty for our sins, and through our faith in His work, we have a home in Heaven is enough. Through God’s grace this ministry is able to share what Christ did for us with others. Everything else is just a blessing from the Lord. As adults it may be a little easier for us to recognize that, but when a child does….it is just AMAZING!
This is a prayer request a child turned in this week at Good News Club: “Dear God, I pray before you because I love you and what I dream to do is thank you Lord for everything and all I have I am thankful to you.”
Jayde.
Exodus 15:2 “The Lord is my strength and song, and He is become my salvation; He is my God…..”
WOW, now Jayde's prayer, let's use the word AWESOME! How was that for encouraging???
On a far lesser note (KEM here), even a shabby note, compared to the above, I had lunch with a dear childhood friend, my "little sister," Barb. (That is not the lesser or shabby part, time with Barb is a treasure.) But we got on the subject of No Hands can openers. I was telling her my sob story and she said, I have one of those and I love it. This gives me hope. I, too, shall find a way to love my Hands Off can opener. Barb cleans her blade by turning it (hers has a knob to do that, mine doesn't) and rubbing a paper towel on it. Her opener was a more deluxe version, I think, but I hope mine will do that somehow and I don't have to dissect it every time. See, I told you this was lesser.
And lesser still, I was on the verge of returning the Can Can Christmas Tree Skirt and using a fluffy white throw instead when Mike announced, The Can Can adds pizazz, keep it. He acknowledged that it might not go with my color scheme, but that will be nothing new around here. What color scheme? I've never had a color scheme a day in my life. Besides the Can Can can serve double duty when I need to dress up for a costume party (which is never).
And least of all, remember how I spilled salad dressing a while back on my brand new red J. Jill sweater, quicker than quick? Well, I still wear the sweater, no washy yet. And today I wanted to reexamine the spot, but I cannot locate it, even though I KNOW it is on the ribbed left sleeve cuff, to the right of the seam. Where did it go? Honestly, it was the size of a nickel. Am I losing it? Tonight at the choir Christmas party I asked a man, Remember your birthday cake after choir practice? He said, No. I said, Well, you had a cake and now another choir member and I are arguing over how old you are. So, how old are you? He said, How old did you think I was? I said, Well, you don't look it, but you said you were 80. He said, I'm 75 and I don't remember a thing you're saying. I said, Maybe you were kidding me, but I really thought you said you were 85. In fact, I KNOW it. Well, the cake happened in January. He doesn't remember any of it, and apparently I don't either. The other choir person said he was 75, so I lose that one.
Then, still at the choir party tonight, I said to the lady next to me, I really liked your carrot souflette (sp) that you brought to a church dinner one time. She looked at me like my last marble had rolled out of my head and across the floor. I don't make carrot souflette, she said matter-of-factly. I said, You most certainly do, and it's delicious. To which she replied, I've never made carrot souflette in my life, I always bring broccoli casserole to the dinners. I said, No, you brought carrot souflette (would really help if I could spell the main word of this story) and you told me, when I inquired, that you used butter, not margarine, and that the Picadilly Cafeteria serves this carrot souflette and furthermore the recipe was in the newspaper, which I KNOW it was, I cut it out. Meanwhile, her grown son is piping in that his mother has never made carrot souflette (nothing like a gang up) and just exactly what is my vision of carrot souflette? I said, I don't know, eggs, butter, milk, sugar. He informed, Mom makes mashed carrots with salt and butter only. WELL, WHATEVER, carrot souflette in my book. She mashes them like potatoes. She finished up by saying, I never brought mashed carrots to a church dinner.
Folks, I GIVE UP. But in the Dirty Santa gift exchange I got a really neat gift, for once in my life. At first I opened a picture book from a movie on the nativity. Included was a candle holder carved with the manger scene. Someone shouted, That is from Israel! I said, It says here, MADE IN CHINA. So I sat down and thumbed through the book because I adore looking at pictures of the Holy Land. Not sure if they filmed the movie in Israel, but I pretended they did. Fortunately, someone stole my gift and my new gift was a $10 gift card to the grocery store. I liked that. The carrot souflette boy had gone first in the exchange, so he got to go last, too. He wanted my Publix gift card, but he had compassion because I am a family, or part of one, whereas he is a young bachelor, so he didn't steal it.
The carrot souflette lady, who was almost last to go, ended up picking out the gift I had brought, which was a CD of some coffee music. It has a German title and she tried to read it to the group. When she sat down next to me, not knowing it was my gift, of course, she gave it the once over and then shrugged to her husband, trying to make the best of a bum pick, It might not be that bad. HA! I bought several of these CD's once upon a time and it was just aching to be delivered from the prison of the gift box. Well, the carrot souflette lady cracks me up any day of the year, and she certainly did not disappoint tonight.
Then I won Bingo. Boy, was this a banner night, or what? Carrot Souflette Woman said, Let's play E Bingo. She was dying to win, but I won, Gary and I both won, but I shouted BINGO! first and got to pick my prize, which was a huge ball ornament full of who knows what. Gary got the reject. Then the choir gave me a $50 gift card to Macy's, way to go choir.
This Gary, during the dinner he folded green construction papers and made a three dimensional Christmas tree out of them. Everyone at the table oohed and aahed. Then he and three others stood in front of the group and were asked to take a sheet of green construction paper and make a Christmas tree out of it . . . behind their backs. I handed Gary his fancy tree and said, Hold this out front when time us up. So, that's what he did and, needless to say, his work of art tree was quite superior to the torn shabby blobs of trees everyone else produced. But since he cheated, it didn't count.
As far as the Dirty Santa, the two women in charge of the party had two separate and distinct ideas how to handle it, do Dirty Santa, or don't. The one lady is a hoot and she said, Whatever everyone wants. So, of course, we all wanted Dirty Santa. Halfway through it, she lost track of which number was next, so she waved her hand and sorta slurred, Whoever, whatever, I don't care. It was funny and I thought, She's getting soaked. But on what? Gary said, You been hitting the bottle?, echoing my sentiments exactly. Oh, and she was the one who got my friend's gift. My friend, I watched him do it in his house, picked an old used Gaiter Trio CD from his stash and proceded to wrap it in the Toys 'R Us newspaper ad, which at least boasted the Christmas colors. The lady did a country jig upon the revelation of this exquisite gift. I'm telling you, we had a jolly good time.
Okay, the Jazz went out in the bitter cold and now she must have her Greenie toothbrush for a treat, which is almost as fabulous as a sweet potato french fry -- but falls far short of a car ride.
KEM the Blogger and not the Housecleaner
Thursday, December 10, 2009
What do you know? I woke up this morning after 7 hours of sleep and I actually felt normal -- human normal. I got up. I had a day. Now I'm zonked, so catch you tomorrow . . . not used to being normal. If it lasts it will take some getting used to . . . gladly.
Oh yeah, glass ornaments on the tree. I need to watch a good Christmas movie when I try my hand at tying the bows. I will try to be relaxed. In college I took a calligraphy class and it made me so nervous, my hand would cramp and freeze, which yielded less than desirable results. The teacher used to say, You wouldn't ballroom dance all stiff and frozen, gripping your partner so the oxygen flow stopped, it wouldn't be very graceful. This is true, but somehow the analogy did not transfer to easy elegant flourishes with a fountain pen. My calligraphy looked stiff and frozen because I clutched the pen within an inch of its life. No. I squeezed it to death.
Sweet Dreams,
KEM
Oh yeah, glass ornaments on the tree. I need to watch a good Christmas movie when I try my hand at tying the bows. I will try to be relaxed. In college I took a calligraphy class and it made me so nervous, my hand would cramp and freeze, which yielded less than desirable results. The teacher used to say, You wouldn't ballroom dance all stiff and frozen, gripping your partner so the oxygen flow stopped, it wouldn't be very graceful. This is true, but somehow the analogy did not transfer to easy elegant flourishes with a fountain pen. My calligraphy looked stiff and frozen because I clutched the pen within an inch of its life. No. I squeezed it to death.
Sweet Dreams,
KEM
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
The answer for watering the Christmas tree is to do it with a turkey baster. Probably this tip is as old as the hills (older), but it's news to me. The idea came when I realized the new doc telling me to turkey baste my nose was not going to work out . . . not work out at all. So, I am stuck with a turkey baster but now it is put to good use, it slips easily (being a somewhat graceful implement) right up next to the trunk and water squirts directly into the basin and not all over the tree skirt and presents. Life is good. The can-can tree skirt is sitting there under the lighted tree. Have to decide if it's a keeper. It might be. My stepson came for dinner and see, I had the skirt hanging from a hook in the ceiling, and he says, What's that? He thought it was a pirate outfit.
My dinner was one of those where the cupboard was bare but there was no getting to the store either. So I am pleased to announced that I made crepes (yes, I got a non-stick omelette pan) with a white sauce tuna filling. Not bad for a desperate woman.
Then more cleaning with Andy Griffith to keep me company (Andy makes ALL the difference). Then back to Target to see what was up with the coupons. Fortunately, the customer service woman believed me, she said the cashier I had was a new girl who didn't understand about the red lights on the register (meaning the coupons weren't taking). So, I walked away with $8.49, three of those bucks being a customer courtesy for all the coupons I used which I now couldn't remember, which I don't know if there were any, but I gave myself the benefit of the doubt and decided my trouble to get back there was well worth three bucks. Of course, the other reason I was there was to get the Tide and Bounty, but no sooner did I approach the Target entrance when, BOING!, I had left the coupons on the kitchen counter (well, the pile on the counter). At least we are moving in the right direction as the coupons were removed from the December wad. Well, I couldn't bring myself to buy Tide and Bounty and pay $2.35 more, so it's another trip back to Target, the coupons now tucked in my real purse. I'm telling you, the coupon system has GOT TO GO. Companies should just stick the coupons right on the package, like they do sometimes. Do it all the time, reward your customers and entice new ones. I am more apt to buy something if I see a coupon stuck on the bottle that says, USE ME NOW. Listen to KEM, Corporate America! I'm sure every other woman in America feels exactly as I do, so listen to The Women of America! Make our lives a little jollier.
Picked up a few stocking stuffers for DTD. Christmas is fun, if it doesn't kill me first.
Uh-oh, I made an impulse buy today and I am 1,000 % remorseful. It's a OneTouch Hands-Free Can Opener, AS SEEN ON TV (that should have been my first clue). Let's just put it this way, what used to take about 10 seconds, opening a can with a manual opener, will now take about 5 minutes. Yes, you heard me. Why? Because whereas I used to rinse off my can opener, in order to clean this nifty new gadget, you have to remove the battery cover (watch the batteries fall to the floor) and then lift the front cap off. Then you can wash and dry the blade and housing. FUN. And let me tell you something else, it took 10 minutes to remove that front buggary cap and 10 minutes to replace it, it's just funky and I didn't want to force it for fear of snapping the plastic in two. So, really, I have opened one can of tuna and it took me 45 minutes. I want my money back. PLUS, this thing slices through the SIDE of the can, not the top, so tuna juice washed over the edge like Niagra Falls. Yep, BUYER'S REMORSE.
You are probably wondering, Why would you need a hands-free opener in the first place? Well, it's because I assumed it would spare my long, delicate fingers the strain and twist associated with my hands-on opener. Once a musician friend said I mustn't do house work and spoil my fingers for the piano. She was adamant. And it's true, every time I do a big house cleaning, my fingers are ruined. Of course, you are probably wondering, Why didn't you just buy a conventional electric can opener. Because the One Touch is so cute, of course. Looks are so deceiving. Initially, I had thought about buying my parents the One Touch and figured I should test it out first. Well, further words are pointless.
Still fishing for a brain cell,
KEM
My dinner was one of those where the cupboard was bare but there was no getting to the store either. So I am pleased to announced that I made crepes (yes, I got a non-stick omelette pan) with a white sauce tuna filling. Not bad for a desperate woman.
Then more cleaning with Andy Griffith to keep me company (Andy makes ALL the difference). Then back to Target to see what was up with the coupons. Fortunately, the customer service woman believed me, she said the cashier I had was a new girl who didn't understand about the red lights on the register (meaning the coupons weren't taking). So, I walked away with $8.49, three of those bucks being a customer courtesy for all the coupons I used which I now couldn't remember, which I don't know if there were any, but I gave myself the benefit of the doubt and decided my trouble to get back there was well worth three bucks. Of course, the other reason I was there was to get the Tide and Bounty, but no sooner did I approach the Target entrance when, BOING!, I had left the coupons on the kitchen counter (well, the pile on the counter). At least we are moving in the right direction as the coupons were removed from the December wad. Well, I couldn't bring myself to buy Tide and Bounty and pay $2.35 more, so it's another trip back to Target, the coupons now tucked in my real purse. I'm telling you, the coupon system has GOT TO GO. Companies should just stick the coupons right on the package, like they do sometimes. Do it all the time, reward your customers and entice new ones. I am more apt to buy something if I see a coupon stuck on the bottle that says, USE ME NOW. Listen to KEM, Corporate America! I'm sure every other woman in America feels exactly as I do, so listen to The Women of America! Make our lives a little jollier.
Picked up a few stocking stuffers for DTD. Christmas is fun, if it doesn't kill me first.
Uh-oh, I made an impulse buy today and I am 1,000 % remorseful. It's a OneTouch Hands-Free Can Opener, AS SEEN ON TV (that should have been my first clue). Let's just put it this way, what used to take about 10 seconds, opening a can with a manual opener, will now take about 5 minutes. Yes, you heard me. Why? Because whereas I used to rinse off my can opener, in order to clean this nifty new gadget, you have to remove the battery cover (watch the batteries fall to the floor) and then lift the front cap off. Then you can wash and dry the blade and housing. FUN. And let me tell you something else, it took 10 minutes to remove that front buggary cap and 10 minutes to replace it, it's just funky and I didn't want to force it for fear of snapping the plastic in two. So, really, I have opened one can of tuna and it took me 45 minutes. I want my money back. PLUS, this thing slices through the SIDE of the can, not the top, so tuna juice washed over the edge like Niagra Falls. Yep, BUYER'S REMORSE.
You are probably wondering, Why would you need a hands-free opener in the first place? Well, it's because I assumed it would spare my long, delicate fingers the strain and twist associated with my hands-on opener. Once a musician friend said I mustn't do house work and spoil my fingers for the piano. She was adamant. And it's true, every time I do a big house cleaning, my fingers are ruined. Of course, you are probably wondering, Why didn't you just buy a conventional electric can opener. Because the One Touch is so cute, of course. Looks are so deceiving. Initially, I had thought about buying my parents the One Touch and figured I should test it out first. Well, further words are pointless.
Still fishing for a brain cell,
KEM
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
After laboring bordering on going wacko over GUBYL, Mike finally said, The word is in a form you may not be thinking of. Okay, that helps :--- So, finally, I said, It's not BULGY, is it? He said, YES! Oh, for Corn's sake. I thought of bulgy earlier on the day before, but when I checked Webster, bulgy wasn't mentioned. Whoever heard of BULGY? Bulging, yes. Bulgy, no. So, of course, I had to Google it and come to find out bulgy means "having a bulge, or bulges." Brilliant. It also happens to be the name of the double-decker bus in the Thomas the Train outfit. Listen, in the JUMBLE directions it says, Unscramble these letters to form ordinary words. HA! Honestly, this had better not happen again anytime soon . . . JUMBLE boys, beware.
I forced myself to go shopping again tonight. Mike, happily, needs new dress shirts for work, so TJMaxx was my destination. Target is right there, too. Well, I found two nice shirts for Mike. By the way, let me insert that my dressy, ruffled $188.00 blouse for $20.00, I happily report that it is superb. It really has that something special.
Well, I was only feeling half alive tonight, so it was way too much effort, when I parked at Target, to reach over to the passenger seat to snatch up my coupon purse, which is separate and distinct from my purse-purse. I convinced myself that I wouldn't need it, I would stick to my list and the chosen coupons already in my purse. No sooner did I get to the detergent aisle, than I saw a posted note, Buy Tide and one other targeted thing and get a $5 gift card for Target. Oh, no! That sounded really good, since the Tide was already Price Cut. Back out to the car. Back to the Tide. Now guess what? I discovered that my big wad of December coupons, that has Tide and Bounty coupons, was not in the little coupon purse. Oh, no, baby, they were back at home where I left them on the counter after picking out the December coupons I was going to use tonight. So, I decided I would have to come back to Target later in the week to buy my Tide. I shopped and checked out, noticing the young cashier was having trouble scanning my coupons. I got home and guess what? Yeah, that's right, over $5 of my coupons never registered. So, what will Customer Service do about this? I cringe to know, as I find that Target is not especially customer friendly. AND THIS, my friends is why coupons should be banned, declared illegal and deleted from the planet from this day forth and forevermore (I've been saying this for years).
Our Christmas tree is inside. That is all that happened today, it came inside to it's cozy little corner in the living room. But I worked hard in the living room today. Every day, I have to clean something 'cause I made the deep plunge to schedule the window cleaners for Monday. Now, one has to tidy up for the window cleaners, everyone knows that.
My friend was telling me about her fabulous wool pillow that her son took on a road trip this summer. It got lost. Then it got found a few days ago. It was in a car trunk all this time, where rain leaked in and molded it, but good. My friend is the Research Queen, so she called the wool company and asked what to do. They said wash it but if there are still black spots, then you will have to chuck it, because black spots, even after washed, indicate the mold is still hanging around.
Well. Let me tell you my little story. I have the bad habit of using old wash cloths for hand mopping the floor, but then letting them fester in the laundry room sink for who knows how long, instead of washing them on the spot, there's the bad habit part. Why do I do this? I guess I'm waiting for a big load of rags. So, I see that some of them mold and I put them through the inferno cycle on the machine. They come out looking . . . eh, not so spanky, but at least the mold seems calmed down. So, this last time I said, That's it, this bunch of rags offers one last round of service before they are killed. So, I dampen them, clean the dirty old floor, one rag at a time, and then that rag hits the trash. Well, one wet rag didn't get used before Target, and after Target I went to pick it up and you wanna know what? It had all these big inky black spots, that, I assure you, were not visible to that extent when the rag came out of the dryer. But they were hidden in there (sneaky) and the water resurrected them in about 3 hours. I'm telling you, the mold spots were black blobs the size of quarters, huge polka dots, which I had never seen before. Incredible. And TOTALLY GROSS. So now I know, and I had already decided that new rags were required and I bought them tonight. Honestly, I keep things for WAY TOO LONG. And tonight I read an article about knowing when things aren't working and to get rid of the old to make room for the new. The article was the weekly dissertation of Debra Lynn Dadd, the Green Living expert. I just happened to catch up on email and read that tonight. Good timing, good-bye scary old moldy rags.
Time for a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. Last night I ate two custard cups and I immediately felt better. Mike had one custard for lunch, then when he left, I had the last two custard cups. Tonight when Mike scanned the fridge for a custard cup, there weren't any. Well, that is just too bad, custard was calling me and I heeded the call. Mike is out of his Ginger Sandwich Creme Cookies, that he is addicted to, I might add.
Custard KEM
I forced myself to go shopping again tonight. Mike, happily, needs new dress shirts for work, so TJMaxx was my destination. Target is right there, too. Well, I found two nice shirts for Mike. By the way, let me insert that my dressy, ruffled $188.00 blouse for $20.00, I happily report that it is superb. It really has that something special.
Well, I was only feeling half alive tonight, so it was way too much effort, when I parked at Target, to reach over to the passenger seat to snatch up my coupon purse, which is separate and distinct from my purse-purse. I convinced myself that I wouldn't need it, I would stick to my list and the chosen coupons already in my purse. No sooner did I get to the detergent aisle, than I saw a posted note, Buy Tide and one other targeted thing and get a $5 gift card for Target. Oh, no! That sounded really good, since the Tide was already Price Cut. Back out to the car. Back to the Tide. Now guess what? I discovered that my big wad of December coupons, that has Tide and Bounty coupons, was not in the little coupon purse. Oh, no, baby, they were back at home where I left them on the counter after picking out the December coupons I was going to use tonight. So, I decided I would have to come back to Target later in the week to buy my Tide. I shopped and checked out, noticing the young cashier was having trouble scanning my coupons. I got home and guess what? Yeah, that's right, over $5 of my coupons never registered. So, what will Customer Service do about this? I cringe to know, as I find that Target is not especially customer friendly. AND THIS, my friends is why coupons should be banned, declared illegal and deleted from the planet from this day forth and forevermore (I've been saying this for years).
Our Christmas tree is inside. That is all that happened today, it came inside to it's cozy little corner in the living room. But I worked hard in the living room today. Every day, I have to clean something 'cause I made the deep plunge to schedule the window cleaners for Monday. Now, one has to tidy up for the window cleaners, everyone knows that.
My friend was telling me about her fabulous wool pillow that her son took on a road trip this summer. It got lost. Then it got found a few days ago. It was in a car trunk all this time, where rain leaked in and molded it, but good. My friend is the Research Queen, so she called the wool company and asked what to do. They said wash it but if there are still black spots, then you will have to chuck it, because black spots, even after washed, indicate the mold is still hanging around.
Well. Let me tell you my little story. I have the bad habit of using old wash cloths for hand mopping the floor, but then letting them fester in the laundry room sink for who knows how long, instead of washing them on the spot, there's the bad habit part. Why do I do this? I guess I'm waiting for a big load of rags. So, I see that some of them mold and I put them through the inferno cycle on the machine. They come out looking . . . eh, not so spanky, but at least the mold seems calmed down. So, this last time I said, That's it, this bunch of rags offers one last round of service before they are killed. So, I dampen them, clean the dirty old floor, one rag at a time, and then that rag hits the trash. Well, one wet rag didn't get used before Target, and after Target I went to pick it up and you wanna know what? It had all these big inky black spots, that, I assure you, were not visible to that extent when the rag came out of the dryer. But they were hidden in there (sneaky) and the water resurrected them in about 3 hours. I'm telling you, the mold spots were black blobs the size of quarters, huge polka dots, which I had never seen before. Incredible. And TOTALLY GROSS. So now I know, and I had already decided that new rags were required and I bought them tonight. Honestly, I keep things for WAY TOO LONG. And tonight I read an article about knowing when things aren't working and to get rid of the old to make room for the new. The article was the weekly dissertation of Debra Lynn Dadd, the Green Living expert. I just happened to catch up on email and read that tonight. Good timing, good-bye scary old moldy rags.
Time for a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. Last night I ate two custard cups and I immediately felt better. Mike had one custard for lunch, then when he left, I had the last two custard cups. Tonight when Mike scanned the fridge for a custard cup, there weren't any. Well, that is just too bad, custard was calling me and I heeded the call. Mike is out of his Ginger Sandwich Creme Cookies, that he is addicted to, I might add.
Custard KEM
Monday, December 7, 2009
Today was the day to go bananas Christmas shopping. Starting with picking out the Christmas tree, which is now reposing on the deck until further notice.
Then I did birthday shopping for DTD because I was crazy enough to have her twelve days before Christmas. It gives The Twelve Days of Christmas new meaning, seriously. Of course, she was twelve days past her due date. Good math going here.
Then I returned the polyester pants Mike would have no part of. It really helped me because I readily applied that $50 to other more interesting shopping, and when the cashier told me the total, I didn't fall into a stupor, because I basically had $50 credit, to my way of thinking although Mike doesn't "get" that.
I shall now brag about the top I found at Marshall's. My buggy was full but on my way to the register, one last Clearance rack told me to get over there. Boy, am I glad I did, because four more articles, ALL FOR ME, jumped into my cart. But the prize was this dark teal pretty sleeveless blouse (with ruffles) that the manufacturer was milking the world at large, gullible women at small, for a teensy $188.00. Marshall's had if on Clearance for $20.00. I had to buy that just for the principal of the thing. I didn't try it on, but here's to hoping for the best. It would be a blouse for a fancy party, since I'm a socialite and all. Maybe I should just frame it.
Oh yeah, and the silly buy of the day was a tree skirt. Lately, I've been wrapping a blanket around the base of the tree. Well, lately, I haven't even done that as last year I bought a table top tree, pre-decorated, which I enjoyed immensely, but Mike and DTD were disgusted with it (me). The year before I don't think I did a tree at all. Did I? Who knows. Okay, so this tree skirt looks exactly like a ruffled skirt, a very full ruffled skirt, with panels of red and gold. I really don't know, I haven't tried it on the tree yet, of course, don't know if it will look so swell with elegant white lights, white ornaments and white bows . . . all white. Then a loud ruffled skirt that looks like it's something straight out of The Wild Wild West setting it all off. Well, if there's one thing we know, it's that KEM does not understand balance and harmony and color when it comes to decorating (so what does she understand about decorating?). I have learned this about myself as I read newspaper articles giving tips for decorating, and I'm going, You don't say? Anyhow, the tree skirt could easily be converted to a real skirt KEM wouldn't be caught dead in, I've held it up and swished it around, it's ideal for the Can-Can. I can just see DTD'S face when she gets a load of this.
What I need is my friend Brad to come handle my Christmas tree. He posted a picture of his tree on Facebook, his bare tree. It was tall and a bit gangly. The next day he posted pictures of the tree, decorated. For crying out loud, it's a work of art, it's MAGNIFICENT. I told him, If I had a year I could never hang that many ornaments, much less do so artistically. HOW DO PEOPLE DO IT?? There is not one pine needle of that tree that isn't brushing up against some exquisite ornament or light or bead. The gangly limbs are thoroughly incorporated into this masterpiece. What gangly limbs?? They were part of the plan all along. I don't know when I've been so impressed. I told him, ENTER THIS IN A CONTEST!!! It's GORGEOUS.
So, then it was off to Macy's, where they sell REAL men's pants. If the economy is still on the blink, you wouldn't know it judging by the traffic, parking lots and crowds at the store counters. It's such a waiting game. I drove around looking for a decent parking space and I saw someone pull out and I zipped right in. Then when I pulled out, someone zipped right in again. That poor parking space didn't have half a second to itself. And that's the way it is. Which makes me very happy for the stores because people work in and for those stores. What I'm trying to say is that I'm VERY happy for the people who need their jobs in these stores.
I am kind of in a state of shock that I have a tree and nearly all shopping done. What is this?? Normally, we get our tree a day or two before Christmas, one that is so dried out by that late date it's ready to set fire if you merely turn on a lamp. My first Christmas married, we didn't have a tree. My mother-in-law came to visit and she had a conniption. She MADE us go to a convenience store in the dark on Christmas Eve to get a tree. We came home with a branch . . . a very small and hideous branch . . . one that made Charlie Brown's tree look lush, a rare object of desire.
And normally, I'm in the thick of the mad crowds the day or two before Christmas, still shopping. There are never gifts under our tree unless they came in the mail. I wrap for hours Christmas Eve. No longer, Sisters and Brothers. I almost wrapped everything (which, really, we are going light this year) tonight, but instead I wrapped nothing, because enough is enough for one day.
My shopping amazed me today. What is this, buying the first thing I see for each person. Seriously, that is how it went. And I think I did okay, but I could be kidding myself. This is why I have learned to say, Gift receipt, please. Still, it is so unlike me. For instance, when I was going to meet my former mother-in-law for the first time, at Christmas, I spent every lunch hour for the four months before Christmas racing around to every shop in the city until I was POSITIVE I had the perfect gift to adequately impress her. And guess what was that perfect gift?? The very first thing I ever saw in the first place, four months prior. B-a-R-U-U-T-H-E-R. That was kind of a light bulb moment. Kind of. But I guess I'm too old and tired to shop like that anymore, or too smart, although sometimes I do get carried away. It's OCD again. But I tell myself, A nice gift is a nice gift, too bad you can't view every possible gift in the world, so just go for this one right here and now. Besides, anymore there is so much STUFF in the world, nothing seems too terribly special. Unless it's that blouse I got for a smidge more than 10% of the price. Watch it look like a joke on me, and then I'll go, Aha!, so THIS is why it was reduced. Next thing you know, they'll be paying me to remove it from the premises. Oh, please don't return this blouse, they'll plead. We offer you what you paid for it, pretty please, just keep it, they cajole. Whatever.
Maybe I will be ready for Christmas and actually find myself baking cookies with frosting. Oonagh, please send me your cookie recipe as I can't find mine even though Laura gave it to me once upon a time. I want to make S & S Cinnamon Rolls, too. They are my specialty. I have made them twice in my whole life. And I have these blue and white striped tins that cry buckets every year as they once again stay put. Imagine filling them with S & S Cinnamon Rolls and showing up at someone's front door. Oh, I imagine it all right.
But most of all, I want to listen to Christmas music, watch old Christmas movies, drink almond milk hot chocolate and, most importantly revere the Christ child.
So, better clean this house and stick with my convictions.
I'm glad I wrote a real blog tonight, it made my sinuses feel better, because I forgot about them. I know I've signed off dairy for life, but dare I (ha) go scarf down a baked custard? Somehow, cooked dairy doesn't still seem like dairy, not quite the same animal . . . not exactly.
Cannot figure out the Jumble today. But I say to Mike over lunch, What is GUBYL, but don't you dare tell me. Eleven seconds later he says, I got it. He got it in his head. It's infuriating, he does it all the time. I study it for all of breakfast, lunch and dinner, with the letters smack in front of me. Mike says I will feel really silly when I figure out what it is. Well, whatever, at least one day last week I got everything quick, quick, I was sharp that day (or Jumble was easy). Nevertheless it does give one hope. I think I will go grab a custard and stare at GUBYL some more.
SUPER DULL KEM
Then I did birthday shopping for DTD because I was crazy enough to have her twelve days before Christmas. It gives The Twelve Days of Christmas new meaning, seriously. Of course, she was twelve days past her due date. Good math going here.
Then I returned the polyester pants Mike would have no part of. It really helped me because I readily applied that $50 to other more interesting shopping, and when the cashier told me the total, I didn't fall into a stupor, because I basically had $50 credit, to my way of thinking although Mike doesn't "get" that.
I shall now brag about the top I found at Marshall's. My buggy was full but on my way to the register, one last Clearance rack told me to get over there. Boy, am I glad I did, because four more articles, ALL FOR ME, jumped into my cart. But the prize was this dark teal pretty sleeveless blouse (with ruffles) that the manufacturer was milking the world at large, gullible women at small, for a teensy $188.00. Marshall's had if on Clearance for $20.00. I had to buy that just for the principal of the thing. I didn't try it on, but here's to hoping for the best. It would be a blouse for a fancy party, since I'm a socialite and all. Maybe I should just frame it.
Oh yeah, and the silly buy of the day was a tree skirt. Lately, I've been wrapping a blanket around the base of the tree. Well, lately, I haven't even done that as last year I bought a table top tree, pre-decorated, which I enjoyed immensely, but Mike and DTD were disgusted with it (me). The year before I don't think I did a tree at all. Did I? Who knows. Okay, so this tree skirt looks exactly like a ruffled skirt, a very full ruffled skirt, with panels of red and gold. I really don't know, I haven't tried it on the tree yet, of course, don't know if it will look so swell with elegant white lights, white ornaments and white bows . . . all white. Then a loud ruffled skirt that looks like it's something straight out of The Wild Wild West setting it all off. Well, if there's one thing we know, it's that KEM does not understand balance and harmony and color when it comes to decorating (so what does she understand about decorating?). I have learned this about myself as I read newspaper articles giving tips for decorating, and I'm going, You don't say? Anyhow, the tree skirt could easily be converted to a real skirt KEM wouldn't be caught dead in, I've held it up and swished it around, it's ideal for the Can-Can. I can just see DTD'S face when she gets a load of this.
What I need is my friend Brad to come handle my Christmas tree. He posted a picture of his tree on Facebook, his bare tree. It was tall and a bit gangly. The next day he posted pictures of the tree, decorated. For crying out loud, it's a work of art, it's MAGNIFICENT. I told him, If I had a year I could never hang that many ornaments, much less do so artistically. HOW DO PEOPLE DO IT?? There is not one pine needle of that tree that isn't brushing up against some exquisite ornament or light or bead. The gangly limbs are thoroughly incorporated into this masterpiece. What gangly limbs?? They were part of the plan all along. I don't know when I've been so impressed. I told him, ENTER THIS IN A CONTEST!!! It's GORGEOUS.
So, then it was off to Macy's, where they sell REAL men's pants. If the economy is still on the blink, you wouldn't know it judging by the traffic, parking lots and crowds at the store counters. It's such a waiting game. I drove around looking for a decent parking space and I saw someone pull out and I zipped right in. Then when I pulled out, someone zipped right in again. That poor parking space didn't have half a second to itself. And that's the way it is. Which makes me very happy for the stores because people work in and for those stores. What I'm trying to say is that I'm VERY happy for the people who need their jobs in these stores.
I am kind of in a state of shock that I have a tree and nearly all shopping done. What is this?? Normally, we get our tree a day or two before Christmas, one that is so dried out by that late date it's ready to set fire if you merely turn on a lamp. My first Christmas married, we didn't have a tree. My mother-in-law came to visit and she had a conniption. She MADE us go to a convenience store in the dark on Christmas Eve to get a tree. We came home with a branch . . . a very small and hideous branch . . . one that made Charlie Brown's tree look lush, a rare object of desire.
And normally, I'm in the thick of the mad crowds the day or two before Christmas, still shopping. There are never gifts under our tree unless they came in the mail. I wrap for hours Christmas Eve. No longer, Sisters and Brothers. I almost wrapped everything (which, really, we are going light this year) tonight, but instead I wrapped nothing, because enough is enough for one day.
My shopping amazed me today. What is this, buying the first thing I see for each person. Seriously, that is how it went. And I think I did okay, but I could be kidding myself. This is why I have learned to say, Gift receipt, please. Still, it is so unlike me. For instance, when I was going to meet my former mother-in-law for the first time, at Christmas, I spent every lunch hour for the four months before Christmas racing around to every shop in the city until I was POSITIVE I had the perfect gift to adequately impress her. And guess what was that perfect gift?? The very first thing I ever saw in the first place, four months prior. B-a-R-U-U-T-H-E-R. That was kind of a light bulb moment. Kind of. But I guess I'm too old and tired to shop like that anymore, or too smart, although sometimes I do get carried away. It's OCD again. But I tell myself, A nice gift is a nice gift, too bad you can't view every possible gift in the world, so just go for this one right here and now. Besides, anymore there is so much STUFF in the world, nothing seems too terribly special. Unless it's that blouse I got for a smidge more than 10% of the price. Watch it look like a joke on me, and then I'll go, Aha!, so THIS is why it was reduced. Next thing you know, they'll be paying me to remove it from the premises. Oh, please don't return this blouse, they'll plead. We offer you what you paid for it, pretty please, just keep it, they cajole. Whatever.
Maybe I will be ready for Christmas and actually find myself baking cookies with frosting. Oonagh, please send me your cookie recipe as I can't find mine even though Laura gave it to me once upon a time. I want to make S & S Cinnamon Rolls, too. They are my specialty. I have made them twice in my whole life. And I have these blue and white striped tins that cry buckets every year as they once again stay put. Imagine filling them with S & S Cinnamon Rolls and showing up at someone's front door. Oh, I imagine it all right.
But most of all, I want to listen to Christmas music, watch old Christmas movies, drink almond milk hot chocolate and, most importantly revere the Christ child.
So, better clean this house and stick with my convictions.
I'm glad I wrote a real blog tonight, it made my sinuses feel better, because I forgot about them. I know I've signed off dairy for life, but dare I (ha) go scarf down a baked custard? Somehow, cooked dairy doesn't still seem like dairy, not quite the same animal . . . not exactly.
Cannot figure out the Jumble today. But I say to Mike over lunch, What is GUBYL, but don't you dare tell me. Eleven seconds later he says, I got it. He got it in his head. It's infuriating, he does it all the time. I study it for all of breakfast, lunch and dinner, with the letters smack in front of me. Mike says I will feel really silly when I figure out what it is. Well, whatever, at least one day last week I got everything quick, quick, I was sharp that day (or Jumble was easy). Nevertheless it does give one hope. I think I will go grab a custard and stare at GUBYL some more.
SUPER DULL KEM
Sunday, December 6, 2009
On the way to church I listen to a good preacher on the radio. Today he said, If your trials and tribulations are making you angry and bitter instead of bringing you to see God's wisdom and love in all of it and drawing you closer to Him, then you should be nervous.
I don't want to say any more tonight.
Love to all of you,
KEM
I don't want to say any more tonight.
Love to all of you,
KEM
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