This is weird (what else is new?) but I am playing memories of old-fashioned hamburger Drive-In Joints (which I am just old enough to remember). Except I have Kitty On A Sliding Tray. Yes, Robby has learned to jump up on the computer box thingy under the computer desk. From there she (we keep calling him "she") scrambles up onto the rear end of the keyboard tray (it's kinda open back there), you know, the tray slides under the desk, so there is a slot. Normally, I have the tray about half-way out, typing away. So Robby comes in the back way, if you can picture this, I'm telling you what, I'm having a hard time explaining this just so. Anyway, he crawls around and then curls up in back of the keyboard.
It's a good thing I realize this, I mean, I do when I'm typing, but there he was when I was not typing, and you can't really see him, he's under the top of the desk, ready to slide out. We could have torn apart the house looking for him and never thought, Slide Out A Kitty. Thankfully, I noticed this white stripe when I glanced that way, which turned out to be his nose. Speaking of stripes, I discovered today, when he was stretched out, this time on top of the computer desk, that he has very subtle (obviously, heh, heh) black stripes on his slightly less black coat, or maybe it's the other way around. He gets more interesting every day, which is two days now.
So, he curls up in a little ball and fits exactly right, sandwich-like, because the space from keyboard sliding tray to top of desk is exactly his size. And also thankfully, there is a ledge on the back of tray to keep him put.
Well, I never spent so much time explaining something that I feel I did so utterly unconvincingly. Boy, can you tell I is pooped?
At any rate, this gives the concept Cat and Mouse an entirely new meaning to me.
The other funny thing was, I left a box out, the box of Bar Keepers Friend Liquid fame. Doesn't that just sound ideal for kitty fun? So the box was on it's side and Robby climbed on top. His back feet were on the body of the box and his front feet went on the extended flap. Which made the whole box and kitty shake to beat the band. Good Vibrations.
It's a laugh a minute around here now. I honestly believe that for a half-way normal person, animals bring out the very best in us. As long, of course, as we are not talking roaches.
In the paper today there is a cat who is 28 years old. He is the winner for old cats this year, but in years past one cat lived to 36, or something like that. Which, of course, means Robby will way outlive me. If Robby should decide to enter this contest down the road. WAAAY down the road.
Crissy's daughter's wedding was lovely. Sometimes "lovely" is the only word that will do. The bride was gorgeous in the extreme. I love newlyweds. Such bright hopes and promise, God's blessings to them. I'm so proud of Crissy, everything she envisioned and worked so hard for turned out so...lovely. Now she gets to go to Bermuda for a month, or at least she deserves to.
I had one more item to mention, but it has gone KEM-Poof!
In the meantime, I heartily recommend that everyone run find a kitten. Then you, too, can write a blog on Your Famous Kitten. Oh, my, such timing. Robby just flew downstairs and did her series of tricks to land on my computer keyboard tray. I'm sighing off before she starts typing and dismisses my blog in one fell swoop of the paw. She does type, you know. He does.
Serious Kitty Fun,
KEM P.S. There really is some connection between Hamburger Drive-In and Kitten On A Tray, I just can't quite think what it is. Something to do with tray. Listen, today Crissy reintroduced me to her good friend who lives right here in St. Petersburg. The three of us had lunch two Easters ago, around there. I was actually looking for this lady at the wedding so I could say, Hi. As we were getting ready to leave the reception, I saw Crissy talking with a lady. Crissy says, Oh, remember, this is (lady I had lunch with two Easters ago). So, my big question is, Why wouldn't I have recognized her if she had stopped me on the sidewalk and said, Hello, I am Sue and I had lunch with you two Easters ago? This is very sad, we'll blame it on Kitty-On-The-Brain. In my defense, I think beautiful Sue extremely changed her hair and her complexion, meaning, she now has long curly hair, new color, and is sporting a Florida tan. Well, I can tell you one thing, I will know who she is the next time I see her...I hope.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Three regular size bottles of Bar Keeper's Friend Liquid arrived in a UPS box today. I will check it out next week because Roberto Clemente is gladly taking all my spare time just now.
Here's a tip if you have a new kitten. Trying to hold it while you vacuum is an extremely poor idea. Don't try it if you are used to having skin. I was quite off my rocker to think my holding RC while I vacuumed would get the poor thing used to the noise, Let's Get Acquainted With the Vacuum Cleaner. Really. He went completely ape within 2 seconds and scratched the living daylights out of my hand while performing a maniac escape scramble and he basically looked like he stuck his paw in a light socket as he leapt high into the sky, momentarily froze, with Halloween back arch, stiff legs, raised fur and wild eyes, that would be the light socket effect, before skattling off like the judgment had just come. It was cartoonish, to say the least.
Reminded me of when DTD was a baby. She, maybe 4 months old, was in her infant seat on this big wide kitchen counter we had. She was watching me get beets ready for the food processor. Without weighing the consequences, I merrily stuffed whole beets down the chute and turned that baby on. Raw beets can kick up a racket (I think I've told you this before). Whoa. Poor baby DTD froze for 3 seconds before bursting into a screeching fit. I felt like The World's Worst Mother and scooped her right up, apologizing all over the place.
They say the two natural fears we are born with are loud noises and falling. But I am happy to report that Roberto Clemente is very forgiving and holds no grudges. He also seems to have no fear of heights. He is safe from Jazzi because Jazzi cannot jump and RC can jump onto the piano bench with ease. He has also dusted my whole house in 24 hours, especially places that haven't seen the vacuum in, shall we say, quite a while.
We had to leave RC alone in the bathroom all evening and when we came home he had been very industrious, rolling up his little bed in...a nice little roll. His little bed, thus far, is a stack of two folded baby blankets. I was impressed, you would have been, too.
Well, better wrap it up. Wedding tomorrow. Monday I am taking Roberto Clemente on a tour to show him off and cheer my friends.
Precious Kitty Love,
KEM
Here's a tip if you have a new kitten. Trying to hold it while you vacuum is an extremely poor idea. Don't try it if you are used to having skin. I was quite off my rocker to think my holding RC while I vacuumed would get the poor thing used to the noise, Let's Get Acquainted With the Vacuum Cleaner. Really. He went completely ape within 2 seconds and scratched the living daylights out of my hand while performing a maniac escape scramble and he basically looked like he stuck his paw in a light socket as he leapt high into the sky, momentarily froze, with Halloween back arch, stiff legs, raised fur and wild eyes, that would be the light socket effect, before skattling off like the judgment had just come. It was cartoonish, to say the least.
Reminded me of when DTD was a baby. She, maybe 4 months old, was in her infant seat on this big wide kitchen counter we had. She was watching me get beets ready for the food processor. Without weighing the consequences, I merrily stuffed whole beets down the chute and turned that baby on. Raw beets can kick up a racket (I think I've told you this before). Whoa. Poor baby DTD froze for 3 seconds before bursting into a screeching fit. I felt like The World's Worst Mother and scooped her right up, apologizing all over the place.
They say the two natural fears we are born with are loud noises and falling. But I am happy to report that Roberto Clemente is very forgiving and holds no grudges. He also seems to have no fear of heights. He is safe from Jazzi because Jazzi cannot jump and RC can jump onto the piano bench with ease. He has also dusted my whole house in 24 hours, especially places that haven't seen the vacuum in, shall we say, quite a while.
We had to leave RC alone in the bathroom all evening and when we came home he had been very industrious, rolling up his little bed in...a nice little roll. His little bed, thus far, is a stack of two folded baby blankets. I was impressed, you would have been, too.
Well, better wrap it up. Wedding tomorrow. Monday I am taking Roberto Clemente on a tour to show him off and cheer my friends.
Precious Kitty Love,
KEM
Thursday, July 22, 2010
A little black fluffy fur ball is curled up on the computer desk, right in front of me.
Yes, I finally have a kitten and my heart is overflowing with fullness of joy. I couldn't get the tabby from yesterday because she had a hissy fit about Jazzi, when they met. Tabby seemed sad today. Hope she gets adopted tomorrow.
But there were 6 new kittens today, just like that. And this little black boy kitten stole my heart on the spot. He has white paws and white nose and cheeks, with black freckles decorating the white on nose and cheeks. He has one big freckle on right side of his nose/cheek, and a string of three connected freckles on the left side, staring under the pink of the nose, which makes him very asymmetrical. Actually, the pink tip of his nose is mostly outlined in black. The white of nose goes up between his beautiful green eyes, has eyes like DTD. He mostly has black under his chin, with a streak of white on the right. And a white chest. He's gorgeous. He's funny face, one you don't forget, like Earl Grey. And he was calm and curious over Jazzi. Jazzi was really into this.
This kitten is a gift from God, a kitten like this gets snapped up like old garage apartments in St. Petersburg. So, there I was, at the right time at the right place. Honestly, when God said, Let's make something cute, He made kittens.
His name is likely going to be Roberto Clemente Mader. I was testing out Rays baseball player names, like Carl Crawford and Evan Longoria. Then Mike said, How about Roberto Clemente, Robby for short? You know, I think that is perfect. Roberto Clemente is Mike's all-time favorite baseball player ever.
Then again, maybe we should name him Funny Face, after the Audrey Hepburn movie, because he really does have a comical, unusual face.
So, I get the kitty home and he's all over the downstairs, but I did close off the bedroom and office. Jazzi is wagging her stub of a tail furiously and now kitty is arching back slightly and hissing quietly. Jazzi, bless her, is coming on a bit too strong. Kitty likes to sit on the floor of the pantry in the cardboard tray the water bottles come in. Jazz marches back and forth past open pantry, looking for kitty. Kitty just watches Jazz pass by, first one way, then the other. Poor Jazz doesn't see too well.
But the first thing Roberto does is find the hole in the baseboard next to the dishwasher. In he goes. I grab his hind quarters and desperately yank and he meows and overpowers me, yes, that's right, all 1 pound of him, he's 8 weeks old yesterday. There is a big dark empty space under the counters, in the corner. A hot water heater used to be there next to the dishwasher. Under the counters?? You had to take out the dishwasher to get to the hot water heater, but that's another story. Well, now, thankfully, Roberto came out and I stuffed an old dish towel in that hole. But it was immediate Heart Attack City. How could he get into trouble THAT fast? He also has discovered the jungle gym of 14 million wires under the computer desk, Lord, please have mercy. Also, he walked on the desk, pawing things, before he and a package of Mack's Pillow Soft Earplugs went sailing overboard.
After he explored himself silly, he jumped up, after a couple of tries, on my computer chair here in the kitchen. He sacked out while I made Sophia Loren's spaghetti. Sprawling looks like I should try it.
While I was cleaning up after dinner, Funny Face was climbing all over the dishes in the dishwasher. There isn't a spot he hasn't become familiar with. Busy. Now I believe he is down for the night, except I will have to move him to the bathroom, where he will live while learning the ropes of litter pan, which he supposedly knows all ready.
All I can say is, I have pure peace and unadulterated joy in my heart. Seeing that kitty sleeping during dinner made me feel like a kid again, when all that mattered in life was a cozy summer evening, a kitty to cuddle, a milkshake after a tennis game. Things like that. And the air conditioner (window unit) humming. I knew right away that this was THE kitty. He's purring up a storm and I think it is true love all the way around. I know it.
Oh, and I feel fine in my sinuses so far.
KITTY KAPER KEM
Yes, I finally have a kitten and my heart is overflowing with fullness of joy. I couldn't get the tabby from yesterday because she had a hissy fit about Jazzi, when they met. Tabby seemed sad today. Hope she gets adopted tomorrow.
But there were 6 new kittens today, just like that. And this little black boy kitten stole my heart on the spot. He has white paws and white nose and cheeks, with black freckles decorating the white on nose and cheeks. He has one big freckle on right side of his nose/cheek, and a string of three connected freckles on the left side, staring under the pink of the nose, which makes him very asymmetrical. Actually, the pink tip of his nose is mostly outlined in black. The white of nose goes up between his beautiful green eyes, has eyes like DTD. He mostly has black under his chin, with a streak of white on the right. And a white chest. He's gorgeous. He's funny face, one you don't forget, like Earl Grey. And he was calm and curious over Jazzi. Jazzi was really into this.
This kitten is a gift from God, a kitten like this gets snapped up like old garage apartments in St. Petersburg. So, there I was, at the right time at the right place. Honestly, when God said, Let's make something cute, He made kittens.
His name is likely going to be Roberto Clemente Mader. I was testing out Rays baseball player names, like Carl Crawford and Evan Longoria. Then Mike said, How about Roberto Clemente, Robby for short? You know, I think that is perfect. Roberto Clemente is Mike's all-time favorite baseball player ever.
Then again, maybe we should name him Funny Face, after the Audrey Hepburn movie, because he really does have a comical, unusual face.
So, I get the kitty home and he's all over the downstairs, but I did close off the bedroom and office. Jazzi is wagging her stub of a tail furiously and now kitty is arching back slightly and hissing quietly. Jazzi, bless her, is coming on a bit too strong. Kitty likes to sit on the floor of the pantry in the cardboard tray the water bottles come in. Jazz marches back and forth past open pantry, looking for kitty. Kitty just watches Jazz pass by, first one way, then the other. Poor Jazz doesn't see too well.
But the first thing Roberto does is find the hole in the baseboard next to the dishwasher. In he goes. I grab his hind quarters and desperately yank and he meows and overpowers me, yes, that's right, all 1 pound of him, he's 8 weeks old yesterday. There is a big dark empty space under the counters, in the corner. A hot water heater used to be there next to the dishwasher. Under the counters?? You had to take out the dishwasher to get to the hot water heater, but that's another story. Well, now, thankfully, Roberto came out and I stuffed an old dish towel in that hole. But it was immediate Heart Attack City. How could he get into trouble THAT fast? He also has discovered the jungle gym of 14 million wires under the computer desk, Lord, please have mercy. Also, he walked on the desk, pawing things, before he and a package of Mack's Pillow Soft Earplugs went sailing overboard.
After he explored himself silly, he jumped up, after a couple of tries, on my computer chair here in the kitchen. He sacked out while I made Sophia Loren's spaghetti. Sprawling looks like I should try it.
While I was cleaning up after dinner, Funny Face was climbing all over the dishes in the dishwasher. There isn't a spot he hasn't become familiar with. Busy. Now I believe he is down for the night, except I will have to move him to the bathroom, where he will live while learning the ropes of litter pan, which he supposedly knows all ready.
All I can say is, I have pure peace and unadulterated joy in my heart. Seeing that kitty sleeping during dinner made me feel like a kid again, when all that mattered in life was a cozy summer evening, a kitty to cuddle, a milkshake after a tennis game. Things like that. And the air conditioner (window unit) humming. I knew right away that this was THE kitty. He's purring up a storm and I think it is true love all the way around. I know it.
Oh, and I feel fine in my sinuses so far.
KITTY KAPER KEM
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Jazzi and I took a field trip to the pet stores this evening. The point being to talk me into taking the kitty plunge. Yes, this kitten fever will not subside.
These are all stray kitties trying to find homes. I liked a whiney black kitten at the first stop. But I didn't want to separate her from her weepy-eyed brother.
At PetsMart there was a collection of fabulous cats. When I approached the cages, there was a couple looking and also a nice lady. The lady and I struck up a conversation and I found out she has her eye on Simba, an orange 1 year old tabby cat, but fluffy. We decided his eyes looked so sad. He had been adopted and returned. In fact, you can't believe the stories I heard tonight about cats being adopted and returned. Waaah!
Three cats caught my eye. There was this fluffy gorgeous black grown cat, high cheek bones and everything. No kidding, cats have different facial structures, just like humans. I've been studying their profiles. This cat had big round golden eyes. She just lay there, looking like royalty.
Then there was a family of two boy kittens and their sister. The boys looked identical, black with the white paws, but only the lower half of each paw was white. It looked like someone painted on the white, like a French pedicure, I was impressed with the straight edge of the white, very cute. They also had snips of white on their faces. The girl was solid black. They are 10 weeks old and were very playful, until they conked out in a heap.
THEN there was this little tabby kitten, TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUSLY cute. This kitten was a little girl with personality bursting out all over the place, the cage could hardly contain her, 8 weeks old. She wanted to play and bite right through the glass, no sense wasting time feeling sorry for herself, she advertised. Really, I need a cat like that, with a good attitude that can rub off on me. Her markings were very cute, you know, for a tabby. She had this little inquisitive face and her eyes dominated. Oh my, and get this, on one cream colored front paw she had a gray toe. That about did it, because the gray toe would always remind me of guess who? Earl Gray, of course.
I'm thinking I want a girl for Jazzi, since she did so well with my niece's cat, Alice. This would make me feel better about not getting Earl Gray. Maybe Jazzi wouldn't want a boy kitty friend.
The other good news is I stood in the cat cage for a very long time at the first store. It smelled terrible, and so far I am not having cat attacks, as in closed up nostrils, inability to breathe, chest closing up and all the rest.
So, the sweet lady wanting Simba and I talked and carried on. She said she couldn't get Simba until the first of the month. I said, like a goon, What's up with the first of the month? She said her disability check. She also said she had had a former pet, a dog for 14 years. She lives in an apartment and really needs an animal for companionship. She also said Cockateals (sorry, have no idea how to spell) think they are human.
Before long I said, Let me pay for Simba, it will be my gift to you, you can take him home tonight. She liked that, except she said she still would need to wait in order to buy all the cat accoutrements. Then we found out the Adoption Center was closed for the night anyway. I almost said, Meet me here tomorrow and we'll both go home with cats. But I hesitated and then she left. I ended up driving around her apartment complex, 'cause I had asked her where she lived, hoping I'd find her, but that was hopeless, it was a HUGE complex.
It just slayed me that this dear woman wanted a cat and couldn't quite afford it just yet. Kitty cats need homes, it's a good thing to take a cat. I think she was a Christian, she said something about God and had this lovely glow, such a graciousness about her, in spite of her disability. Isn't that the way it usually goes? Well, boy, I hope she gets Simba. I want to be friends with this lady and have kitty cat play dates.
I know that as I lie in bed tonight and think of that tabby, that if I come up with just the right name, that I will have to have it. That's the way it goes.
Thank you for listening to my kitty stories.
KEM
These are all stray kitties trying to find homes. I liked a whiney black kitten at the first stop. But I didn't want to separate her from her weepy-eyed brother.
At PetsMart there was a collection of fabulous cats. When I approached the cages, there was a couple looking and also a nice lady. The lady and I struck up a conversation and I found out she has her eye on Simba, an orange 1 year old tabby cat, but fluffy. We decided his eyes looked so sad. He had been adopted and returned. In fact, you can't believe the stories I heard tonight about cats being adopted and returned. Waaah!
Three cats caught my eye. There was this fluffy gorgeous black grown cat, high cheek bones and everything. No kidding, cats have different facial structures, just like humans. I've been studying their profiles. This cat had big round golden eyes. She just lay there, looking like royalty.
Then there was a family of two boy kittens and their sister. The boys looked identical, black with the white paws, but only the lower half of each paw was white. It looked like someone painted on the white, like a French pedicure, I was impressed with the straight edge of the white, very cute. They also had snips of white on their faces. The girl was solid black. They are 10 weeks old and were very playful, until they conked out in a heap.
THEN there was this little tabby kitten, TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUSLY cute. This kitten was a little girl with personality bursting out all over the place, the cage could hardly contain her, 8 weeks old. She wanted to play and bite right through the glass, no sense wasting time feeling sorry for herself, she advertised. Really, I need a cat like that, with a good attitude that can rub off on me. Her markings were very cute, you know, for a tabby. She had this little inquisitive face and her eyes dominated. Oh my, and get this, on one cream colored front paw she had a gray toe. That about did it, because the gray toe would always remind me of guess who? Earl Gray, of course.
I'm thinking I want a girl for Jazzi, since she did so well with my niece's cat, Alice. This would make me feel better about not getting Earl Gray. Maybe Jazzi wouldn't want a boy kitty friend.
The other good news is I stood in the cat cage for a very long time at the first store. It smelled terrible, and so far I am not having cat attacks, as in closed up nostrils, inability to breathe, chest closing up and all the rest.
So, the sweet lady wanting Simba and I talked and carried on. She said she couldn't get Simba until the first of the month. I said, like a goon, What's up with the first of the month? She said her disability check. She also said she had had a former pet, a dog for 14 years. She lives in an apartment and really needs an animal for companionship. She also said Cockateals (sorry, have no idea how to spell) think they are human.
Before long I said, Let me pay for Simba, it will be my gift to you, you can take him home tonight. She liked that, except she said she still would need to wait in order to buy all the cat accoutrements. Then we found out the Adoption Center was closed for the night anyway. I almost said, Meet me here tomorrow and we'll both go home with cats. But I hesitated and then she left. I ended up driving around her apartment complex, 'cause I had asked her where she lived, hoping I'd find her, but that was hopeless, it was a HUGE complex.
It just slayed me that this dear woman wanted a cat and couldn't quite afford it just yet. Kitty cats need homes, it's a good thing to take a cat. I think she was a Christian, she said something about God and had this lovely glow, such a graciousness about her, in spite of her disability. Isn't that the way it usually goes? Well, boy, I hope she gets Simba. I want to be friends with this lady and have kitty cat play dates.
I know that as I lie in bed tonight and think of that tabby, that if I come up with just the right name, that I will have to have it. That's the way it goes.
Thank you for listening to my kitty stories.
KEM
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Hello again. My frying pan has never surfaced. I presume it to be dead and gone. And to think it never even had a proper burial. Farewell, Fair Friend, you were a faithful servant, and I would like you to know that losing you is way worse than when my vacuum cleaner bit the dust.
Today I called the cleanser company. I was surprised they didn't sound the trumpets. I even had to explain to the woman what was going on. Hello?!?!? She said, Oh?, we're supposed to send you samples? Yes, Dear, that is correct.
So, CDW and my other friend have jumped the gun, both emailing me that I'd made it BIG TIME. Ha, ha, that was my laugh for the day, that they should both have the same word choice. Isn't it nice to have loyal, dellusional friends? I thank them for their great faith and boosting.
Just think, that Julie got a book and movie, and I'm getting wee bottles of BK'S Friend.
Speaking of movies, I'm glad they have one coming out, Ramona and Beezus. You know how CDW and I love the Ramona books. CDW introduced them to me, for which I shall be eternally grateful. I think the movie comes out this Friday. I hope they did Beverly Cleary proud. You know how it is, I have exactly in my mind how Ramona should be on the big screen. Why, oh, why don't people consult me? Oh, wait! They did, or, they are. I shall let you know when the bottles arrive and I give my expert testimony.
I have nine minutes to vacuum downstairs, clean the bathroom, water my nose and check the baseball scores.
BYE,
KEM
Today I called the cleanser company. I was surprised they didn't sound the trumpets. I even had to explain to the woman what was going on. Hello?!?!? She said, Oh?, we're supposed to send you samples? Yes, Dear, that is correct.
So, CDW and my other friend have jumped the gun, both emailing me that I'd made it BIG TIME. Ha, ha, that was my laugh for the day, that they should both have the same word choice. Isn't it nice to have loyal, dellusional friends? I thank them for their great faith and boosting.
Just think, that Julie got a book and movie, and I'm getting wee bottles of BK'S Friend.
Speaking of movies, I'm glad they have one coming out, Ramona and Beezus. You know how CDW and I love the Ramona books. CDW introduced them to me, for which I shall be eternally grateful. I think the movie comes out this Friday. I hope they did Beverly Cleary proud. You know how it is, I have exactly in my mind how Ramona should be on the big screen. Why, oh, why don't people consult me? Oh, wait! They did, or, they are. I shall let you know when the bottles arrive and I give my expert testimony.
I have nine minutes to vacuum downstairs, clean the bathroom, water my nose and check the baseball scores.
BYE,
KEM
Monday, July 19, 2010
KEM is happy to announce news of the most startling nature. That is, her blog has reached a wide range of influence, yes, far and near. Is everyone sitting down? Because today KEM received an email from the fine folk, namely the Executive Vice President, who manufacture the cleanser I suggested to you all for your glass top stoves. I hesitate to name the cleanser, since they are on to me now. But you remember...you do remember, right?
Somehow (pray how?), they read my blog where I mentioned the superior qualities of their cleanser, along with its atrocious smell, and how I hoped we didn't all die on the spot from inhaling the oxygen-gobbling fumes. Something like that.
Well. Now I am informed I'm going to be sent free sample bottles of said superior cleanser. Because this fine corporation believes the "atrocious" smell problem has been solved. Yes, that's right, he quoted me. So embarrassing. I don't mince words. If something is atrocious, by golly, it gets labeled atrocious. Remember how on a hospital survey I filled in the blank that the recovery room nurse was "a witch on a broom"? And later I received a follow-up call to confirm my opinions? And the nice young man on the other end of the line recited to me, And you said the recovery room nurse was a "witch on a broom," is that right? Well, yes, that is what I said, so, yes, I guess that is right. All the while KEM is descending into the sink hole that just opened under her feet, courtesy to swallow her whole.
Please note in the paragraph above that on one quote I placed the punctuation mark inside the quote and on the other quote I placed the punctuation mark on the outside of the quote marks. This is because I have no idea how it's supposed to go, so I just passed with 50%, which is not passing at all, but failing really badly. One of those things.
So, back to my story. My new corporate friends want me to try out the "new and improved" formula and give them feedback. Who says writing a blog isn't worth it? I am now akin to a laboratory rat, I am going to give it the old sniff test. Think of all the money this will save me, not having to go out and buy my own bottles for a while. I hope the bottles are not one-time-use size.
BTW, I'm good at sniffing. Remember, once at Crissy's slumber party we were all playing wildly three rooms over from the kitchen, and suddenly I froze on the spot, as though we had been playing Red Light Green Light. I froze in mid-air, with big huge eyeballs. I hollered above the roar, WHAT'S THAT SMELL, WHAT'S BURNING??? That smell was only something burning up in the oven. Crissy' mom ran and opened the oven door and black smoke unfurled in impressive billows. Maybe a fire would have started, maybe not. Nevertheless I was hailed a heroine that night. All because of my great honkin' sniffer. This corporation doesn't know how good they have it, asking me to do them this favor. Plus, I have other good examples of fine sniffing, which I cannot relay to you right now...because I cannot remember them...right now.
I hope I am not puffing up with pride, that I enlightened an Exec VP on the atrocious smell of his product, unawares. It is also SUPER SCARY to know when you put your stuff out there to read, that people might actually read it. It reminds me of someone I know who put up her house for sale, rolled up her Oriental rugs, and then when the Realtor brought someone by to see the house, Why, what is the meaning of THIS? I'm so far behind labeling/titling my blogs, and I don't remember labeling one for this cleanser. So how did they find me? Nothing is sacred anymore on the WWW. Guess it never has been. Modern technology is quake inducing, I quake within.
Okay, my assignment tomorrow is to call headquarters and make final arrangements. For the bottles to be mailed to me, that is. Like I say, You never know what a day will bring forth.
KEM of the Exciting Life
PS Do you think they are joking me?
Somehow (pray how?), they read my blog where I mentioned the superior qualities of their cleanser, along with its atrocious smell, and how I hoped we didn't all die on the spot from inhaling the oxygen-gobbling fumes. Something like that.
Well. Now I am informed I'm going to be sent free sample bottles of said superior cleanser. Because this fine corporation believes the "atrocious" smell problem has been solved. Yes, that's right, he quoted me. So embarrassing. I don't mince words. If something is atrocious, by golly, it gets labeled atrocious. Remember how on a hospital survey I filled in the blank that the recovery room nurse was "a witch on a broom"? And later I received a follow-up call to confirm my opinions? And the nice young man on the other end of the line recited to me, And you said the recovery room nurse was a "witch on a broom," is that right? Well, yes, that is what I said, so, yes, I guess that is right. All the while KEM is descending into the sink hole that just opened under her feet, courtesy to swallow her whole.
Please note in the paragraph above that on one quote I placed the punctuation mark inside the quote and on the other quote I placed the punctuation mark on the outside of the quote marks. This is because I have no idea how it's supposed to go, so I just passed with 50%, which is not passing at all, but failing really badly. One of those things.
So, back to my story. My new corporate friends want me to try out the "new and improved" formula and give them feedback. Who says writing a blog isn't worth it? I am now akin to a laboratory rat, I am going to give it the old sniff test. Think of all the money this will save me, not having to go out and buy my own bottles for a while. I hope the bottles are not one-time-use size.
BTW, I'm good at sniffing. Remember, once at Crissy's slumber party we were all playing wildly three rooms over from the kitchen, and suddenly I froze on the spot, as though we had been playing Red Light Green Light. I froze in mid-air, with big huge eyeballs. I hollered above the roar, WHAT'S THAT SMELL, WHAT'S BURNING??? That smell was only something burning up in the oven. Crissy' mom ran and opened the oven door and black smoke unfurled in impressive billows. Maybe a fire would have started, maybe not. Nevertheless I was hailed a heroine that night. All because of my great honkin' sniffer. This corporation doesn't know how good they have it, asking me to do them this favor. Plus, I have other good examples of fine sniffing, which I cannot relay to you right now...because I cannot remember them...right now.
I hope I am not puffing up with pride, that I enlightened an Exec VP on the atrocious smell of his product, unawares. It is also SUPER SCARY to know when you put your stuff out there to read, that people might actually read it. It reminds me of someone I know who put up her house for sale, rolled up her Oriental rugs, and then when the Realtor brought someone by to see the house, Why, what is the meaning of THIS? I'm so far behind labeling/titling my blogs, and I don't remember labeling one for this cleanser. So how did they find me? Nothing is sacred anymore on the WWW. Guess it never has been. Modern technology is quake inducing, I quake within.
Okay, my assignment tomorrow is to call headquarters and make final arrangements. For the bottles to be mailed to me, that is. Like I say, You never know what a day will bring forth.
KEM of the Exciting Life
PS Do you think they are joking me?
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Thomas N. Carruther wants you to know the following:
Faith that the thing can be done is essential to any great achievement.
I sincerely hope that the great thing he had in mind to be done was housework. My house, if you want to get personal.
So tomorrow I have faith that this great achievement shall be set in motion. I have faith that it shall not be done in one day, buy maybe a month, slice by slice.
Now I can't believe this, but I have to run to the drug store here at 11:30 PM to get salt packets to rinse my nose. I'm completely out, I just realized, and I daren't skip even one night. My nose is stuffing up already at the very thought. And I was going to be in bed at midnight. Such a flaw in the slaw.
Rats,
KEM PS I want you to know that you can run to the drugstore at midnight and pick up a box of salt packets (with a SAVE $3 NOW coupon on the box) and get home, all in 7 wittle minutes.
Faith that the thing can be done is essential to any great achievement.
I sincerely hope that the great thing he had in mind to be done was housework. My house, if you want to get personal.
So tomorrow I have faith that this great achievement shall be set in motion. I have faith that it shall not be done in one day, buy maybe a month, slice by slice.
Now I can't believe this, but I have to run to the drug store here at 11:30 PM to get salt packets to rinse my nose. I'm completely out, I just realized, and I daren't skip even one night. My nose is stuffing up already at the very thought. And I was going to be in bed at midnight. Such a flaw in the slaw.
Rats,
KEM PS I want you to know that you can run to the drugstore at midnight and pick up a box of salt packets (with a SAVE $3 NOW coupon on the box) and get home, all in 7 wittle minutes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
