If I was ever going to start blogging again was in serious doubt. HOWEVER, a new fabulous kitchen gadget has snapped me out of the doldrums.

Two weeks ago I hit TJMaxx, looking for a 50th birthday gift for my friend, whose surprise party was exactly three hours away, two hours of that being driving time. I only operate under panic situations.

So, my first impulse had been to buy her a purse. You all know as well as I do that purses are the first thing when you step through those double glass doors into Candy Land.

But instead of saucing my way directly to the purses, I turned left, because I wanted to buy Mike some nice undershirts. Along the way to undershirts I found Almond Brittle, cashews, lovely note cards and an exercise DVD. And Organic Lemon Honey Hard Candies. And peds. HEY! This is great to recount this. Because just last night I was staring blankly at my TJMaxx receipt trying to figure out everything I bought from those two long weeks ago. They just tell you vaguely that you bought something in beauty or ladies hosiery. That, my friends, tells me nothing. I look at a string of numbers, like 402513, and try to piece together my shopping trip. This trip I bought 19 things (6 of those being gourmet food items, like potato chips). Well, I could only remember half of what I bought...very disturbing.

So, then I found the undershirts and roamed my way to kitchen, where I found the gadget in question. But before I tell you about that, I will tell you I found a FURemover Lint Brush. Robby is a black cat who loves to sleep on my light tan microfiber sofa. This is a soft rubbery bristled number, and I'm hoping for magnificent results (better than an hour trying to vacuum off long black Robby hair). I have yet to try it...postponing failure, I imagine.

Then there was a stuffed pink pig for Jazzi. This pig was great, he was like a shag rug. Robby loves it.

Then I bought something else in stationery, no idea what. For 3.00.

Next was beauty where I found a really cool sleep mask, suggested for those who party hard and need to sleep in sometimes. Me, I stay up all night, that's why I need it. It doesn't press into your eyeballs, smart design. I've used it several times and have suffered only semi-claustrophobia as a result. I am a girl who enjoys total and complete freedom...in everything. Ha! That reminds me I should relay my experience with an "OPEN" MRI. Maybe I did already.

Okay, I found hair lotion that makes your hair curl. I need hair curling lotion like I need whiskers on my chin. I'll probably wind up using it for cream to shave my legs.

Then I found the cutest shoes ever. Me Too is the brand. But I couldn't get them because they were patent leather and the heel was scratched. Far be it from me to buy damaged goods. But in that neck of the woods, I found more peds. And more peds. I now have a lifetime supply of peds to go with my lifetime supply of exercise DVD's that I keep snatching up here and there for a couple of bucks. I am set. I will be even more set when I finally crack open the case to one of those DVD's.

You know something? My computer is acting up two nights in a row. It doesn't want to type the letters I press. And then it will take an "s" and zip out 15 of them, like this: presssssssssssssssssssssssss. Annoying.

Now, having wasted all this time roaming the whole of TJMaxx, I am truly in a panic because I have no birthday present, even though I considered many things along each aisle and nothing screamed, I AM IT!

So it's on to purses, even though I also obviously placed another beauty item in my cart, my receipt tells me so. Wonder what it is.

I go up and down all the colors of purses and look at CLEARANCE, too. NOTHING! I'm breaking into a cold sweat. So I pray, Dear Lord, help me to KNOW it when I SEE it! And not one minute later I behold this adorable purse, absolutely gorgeous. And the price represented one dollar for every year of my friend's life (minus one penny), which I thought was purely appropriate. Not only that, it was screaming, I AM IT, I AM IT!

So I snatched it up and rushed to check out, which was very crowded. But never fear, they inssssssssssss(ssssssssee?)idiously line the long wait corridor with all sorts of irresistible goodies, like those potato chips cooked in avocado oil (and they are MAAAAHVELOUS). And then there were organic brownie bites.

Anyway, the conclusion of this tale is that by speeding 80 MPH, we got to the party on time, and I was very happy with the purse and so was my friend. In fact, she told me it was the nicest purse she's ever had. Now, you can't beat that.

Also, I have two items left on my receipt that I don't know what they are and they total $7.99.

Now, back to the purpose of this blog entry. This kitchen gadget. It is a corn stripper. All my life I've wanted a corn stripper, one that works, that is. Especially since the time I lived in Burlington, NC, and the good folk there all had homegrown gardens and they would have us to dinner and serve corn off the cob. I found a recipe for stewed corn in my Southern Living for Two Cookbook (LOOOOOOVE that cookbook, I manually added all those O's). And through the years, I have tried an assortment of corn strippers. I started with just a regular knive. Too dangerous and messy. Besides, corn flies everywhere. The fine ladies of Burlington can wield a knife on a cob, but not KEM. Be sure that my bowl of corn nibblets will have finger tip nibblets mixed in, if I use a knife. Very gross, I know. I need to tell you about the new knife I just bought at Crate and Barrel, with DTD'S gift card that I gave her and had to buy back, a year later.

BTW, DTD is, for the next 10 years, going to be referred to as DT-sD. Ain't that gorgeous? If, of course, stands for Darling Twenty-something Daughter. Never again can she be referred to as DTD, Darling Teenage Daughter. Someone issue me a tissue.

But, first, back to corn stripping. I don't like eating corn on the cob. Your face smells like butter for days on end. And I cannot tolerate the smell of buttery flesh. So, I've found and tried various assortments of corn strippers, like the one with a round saw and big long metal handles. You slip the round saw over the tip top of the corn and force it all the way down. Supposedly in one fell swoop you are left with a naked cob and a whole mess of corn kernels. Too bad the saw bends out of shape on the first try, not to be repaired. Chuck it on the Goodwill pile.

Then there was the one William Sonoma bragged about online. But when I went to the store, then never heard of or seen it (bad English).

Then there were others along the sorry way, but this blog is getting very long. AND, I can't remember then exactly, I would be making them up. But they were there, trust me, and all dismal failures.

So, two weeks ago, in the clearance kitchen junk at TJ, I spy a corn stipper by XOX. Or is that OXO? Now, we all know that OXO is a very fine and reputable company with very worthy kitchen gadgets of every description, like the essential salad spinner. Their corn stripper looked unlike any I'd every come across. So, I had to have it. Hmm, spinners and strippers, this is sounding borderline risque.

Then (word for the night) I found corn on the cob at Rollin' Oats. So, tonight, Mike is watching the Steelers make a stunning comeback in the playoffs. I am in the kitchen stripping corn, just trying it for the first time with my new friend, OXO. The Steelers win and Mike is downright giddy. I joyously announce, I may just have to blog about this tonight.

He was so happy, thinking (delusionally, not a word) I was compelled to blog about the Steelers. But that is not what I meant a'tall. I was going to blog about my corn stripper. BECAUSE. It is fabulous. It is simple. It is safe. It is EASY. It WORKS. You never saw a happier camper. And I may just have to write OXO and sing its praises. With no fuss whatsoever, you position the not-too-sharp teeth at the top of the cob. You grab the nice rounded container where the kernels wind up and you slip your way down. Slip in as no sweat, not slip as in, My mother slipped on the ice. Slip 'n Slide, but all in a good way. You catch my drift?

You are then holding a small container full of trimmed corn. And it doesn't trim so deeply that you get the root of the kernel, with that little dark spot. Am I the only person in the world who would even notice such a thing? I'm afraid so.

So, you just go around and after each couple of trims, you turn it upside down and the corn falls out in your big glass measuring cup. Being new at this, some of the kernels fell out on the counter, but that's small taters, trust me. It was only my first time.

There is NOTHING like a kitchen gadget that actually performs. Mike should remember this the next time he thinks I'm going to blog about his sports team. But, hey, GO, STEELERS!

THERE! I wrote a blog, with more material exposing itself along the way, so I should be able to write for the next few days, anyway.

You know something? I was deathly ill the first week of January. Food poisoning? Not sure. That's why the year 2011 did not start off with a big blogging bang. I've been trying to pick myself up ever since.

Hope you all are having a fun new year, or at least a non-eventful one!

This blog is especially for BJH.

Your Blogger,
KEM