Early to Bed, Early to Rise and So Forth

Benjamin Franklin, wow, he was something else. I Googled him because I wanted to be sure, sure, SURE (weird word) the quote below is his. I WAS sure. But . . . you know. Well, in the process, I read how diverse and accomplished he was, just one of those people God must have had tons of fun putting together. Benjamin F. was rather UNUSUAL, you might say. A listing of chapter headings and subheadings from a Franklin biography, well, "mind-boggling" might just lay one little light 1/8" of a dainty scratch on the surface of a life so deep and layered. Who on earth can compete with the likes of Benjamin Franklin? Well, I wouldn't want to if I could, which very notion is laughable. I just want to ENJOY such a marvelous creature.

So the quote we all know and love, by which I don't abide: Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. Mr. Franklin would not approve of me. I don't go to bed early, I don't rise early, my health is precarious, I barely scrape by in all departments and this ALL highlights just how unwise I am. All I can offer is that I'm still alive. And I take naps. Does taking an afternoon nap count for going to bed early and rising early, you know, going to bed early afternoon and rising early evening? I want to be healthy, wealthy and wise, but I have to follow my body clock, which has gotten off track to the point of no return. So, I don't think it would be healthy for me to go to bed early in the traditonal sense and lie there for 4 or 6 hours, unable to fall asleep for anything, not even chanting "Early to bed, early to rise" endlessly or counting ten millions of sheep to lull me to dreamland. Then finally nod off only to have to awaken at the crack of dawn 2 hours later and drag through the day in a most ineffecient, unhappy state of mind, body and spirit, producing next to nothing, or, more likely, turning out jazz in the negative realm, mind, body and spirit.

So, who in this current economy is ever going to be wealthy? Not to say we don't work, but I think we could all be early to bedders and risers and healthy and wise, but not especially wealthy. Maybe wealthy in the intangibles, is that what Mr. F meant? So, I think I am exercising a kind of wisdom by default, to manage my quirky self as best I can. Functioning on a haphazard schedule may be more prodicious than ceasing to function all together, which two hours of sleep in a 24 hour cycle would sincerely promise (I'm getting the 13 Virtues in, see below, if it kills me). Well, there you have it, the strangest exegesis ever on one of Benjamin Franklin's most famous truisms ever. Furthermore, can you EVEN BELIEVE 'prodicious' is not in the dictionary? Well, it should be, and when I took it a step futher and Googled 'prodicious' they asked me, Do you mean "prodigious"? No, I don't mean "prodigious". Honestly (huffed with a weary sigh).

Moving on, here is a list of his 13 Virtues to Live By, followed by (how I fare):

Temperance (oh boy, my temper has gotten me into lifelong hot water, but I'm learning, I'd better be)
Silence (not exactly)
Order ( not quite, who are we kidding here?)
Resolution (every New Year -- and birthday and month before birthday)
Frugality (usually of necessity only)
Industry (I agree)
Sincerity (good idea)
Justice (is what I aim for)
Moderation (in a way, if spreading oneself too thin counts)
Cleanliness (AHA!, for what there's time for, anyway)
Tranquility (when asleep and not having nightmares)
Chastity (let's hope so; also,Webster No. 6, pure in style; simple; unadorned, yes, I am chastely plain)
Humility (why not? As one friend said, You might have inverted humility, whatever that means)

So, dear Blogees, how do you stack up next to these virtues? I think we all fall short, but only by degrees. Or, to see the glass half full, which my husband says I do not, I think we attain all, by degrees, some more gloriously than others.

Benjamin Franklin had this thing about getting out of bed and getting moving. It worries me. He says, He that riseth late, must trot all day, and shall scarce overtake his business at night. Maybe the slackers he knew rose late AND retired early. At least I don't do both. I only do one, plus naps. I get some things done. My business takes me over at night.

He also says (he has LOTS to say), The sleeping fox catches no poultry. True. Unless the peppy chicken cuddles up with happy sleeping fox of his own accord. All the animal pictures you see circulating the Net, well, it happens. Benjamin Frank didn't have the Net. Of course, an imposter BFrank tells us what BFr would think of the Net. I didn't watch it. I exercised moderation and didn't sit there all night reading the 10,700,000 results that a Ben Franklin Google search produced in .24 seconds. I read only a slim 17 minutes worth, no one can tell me I don't research for my blog. At any rate, I think our famous Mr. Franklin was obsessed with insisting on as little sleep as one dared indulge . He shouldn't have invented (okay, discovered) electricity. We might should have stuck with candles. Then I might have a better chance at early to bed.

Well, he's so interesting, so unreachable, but he wasn't perfect or he wouldn't have written THIS:

If you would not be forgotten,
As soon as you are dead and rotten,
Either write things worthy reading,
Or do things worth the writing.

THAT, my dear friends, I can picture Larry Mondello composing, or at least reciting. At least the first half of it. Also, I have to wonder where my little Living Dust Life (worth writing?) and Quirky Blog (worth reading?) fit into this picture? Hmmm. Ben is making me S & S (Squirm and Stew). I need to go decompress with a Leave it to Beaver (I almost wrote "decompose," see what I mean?). Larry was the greatest.

And with THAT, dear friends, I sign off. Life is short and it's getting shorter by the second. Who said that? Did I just make that up? I'm going to bed (after I do my vacuum, roll the bed, swat at the bathrooms, do the dishes, do my back exercises AND write a very important letter . . . well, the letter might have to wait until my early afternoon rising . . . )

Chinking to the heady trio of Health, Wealth and Wisdom (was our Ben the first Health and Wealth Gospeler? (Gospeler is not in the dictionary) Kinda has a familiar ring. No, surely not, someone else must have T & T'd, Taken and Twisted. Ben would not approve.),
KEM