Why, since I am reading through the Bible in a year, am I on May 27? Hint, it's not because I started with May 10th on January 1st.

And why, when I have a $100 gift card to Crate and Barrel, can I browse the store for 1.5 hours and find absolutely nothing I want?

And why is Robby's new fishing pole toy, a hot pink and black striped bug, still in one piece? Normally, Robby pulverizes those insects dangling on the string in exquisitely short order. But this black baby with the hot pink eyes and three rubbery strings that pose for legs on each side of the body, so it crawls right creepy-like, has all it's members intact after a week. Although two of the left legs are decidedly shorter than their matching counterparts.

Life is so full of mysterious questions.

Hey, I made tuna salad sandwiches for dinner. I decided to cook like my friend, Miss Orcas. Well, tuna salad is hardly cooking, unless you count I toasted the bread. Still, Miss Orcas can mix all sorts of herbs and spices and nuts and good things together and make instant glorious concoctions. So, this is what I did. Tuna (Robby now gets first dibs at licking the can, then Jazzi gets the rest -- this is only fair, considering). Pepper and marjoram, can't do tuna without marjoram. Bits of onion. Dried cherries, to which I'm now addicted. One little bag is around $8 but they are SUPERIOR. Some kind of seeds, little ones. The seed bag is now in the trash which is now in the curb container which is now in the rain. I think I'll pass on fishing for that one. Oh, btw, glorious rain!!! Thank you, Lord. We have been perilously dry here in St. Pete.

Okay, mayo. Then on toasted bread I spread mango chutney. Slapped all this together and wow, I've turned into Miss Orcas. Well, not quite, but it was fun. And tasty, too! Even texturized. (?)

Have I told you that my dear friend sent me a link, which is now one of my favorites and I use it several times a week. I think I did tell you, but in case you missed it, it's http://www.stilltasty.com/. Yes, I've told you. But, for instance, it came in real handy when I wondered if my mango chutney, opened on Christmas day (2010), was still safely edible. It was, as long as it hadn't sprouted the gray fuzzies or something. It's good for 1 - 2 months. And Christmas was less than a month ago. Made me feel real good.

Speaking of all this, at this New Year's party we attended, we sat around talking about food and ingredients in the dainties we were eating and how long we keep junk in our fridge. This one lady said her grown kids had just raided her fridge and chucked anything with expired dates. My friend was appalled, it was her stuff and as long as it smells and tastes fine, expiration dates be hanged. But her kids went about their business paying no heed to her.

This got me to wondering about the components in her Bisquick sausage cheese balls that I was shooting down the hatch like so many ping pong balls raining down on Mr. Moose. I think she sensed my apprehension and she assured me that the sausage balls ingredients were all brand spanking new. Whew.

But I became violently ill 33 hours later. It wasn't the sausage balls. I think it was the milkshake from a fast food joint in the mall. 'Cause Mike said his milkshake tasted funny, but I'm not one to let a really bad milkshake go to waste. Are you?

I do not have a stomach lined with iron. Mine is more lined with organza or something. So I may never eat out again. I will have to sip tea when I meet friends for lunch. This is a sad state of affairs. Think about it.

Perhaps I can answer my mysterious questions in tomorrow's blog. 'Cause my eyes are burning. 'Cause I fell asleep after 5 AM this AM. I had been going to bed (4 nights in a row) in the near vicinity of midnight, always a few after, of course. Then I fell off the cart and went to bed super late the next 3 nights. Crime doesn't pay. Whenever I go to bed between 4:30 and 5, I feel crummy the next day. Really my curfew is 2 AM, then I can survive.

So, I'm supposed to me in bed by midnight tonight, but it will be 1:00, which is still 4 hours better than 5.

Therefore, I bid you good night. And I guess I'm missing the SOMA 15 additional % off online sale, today only.

Thinking of all the money she just saved,
KEM