As of late, I have been wondering, What is the rest of the world doing while I am watering my nose? I turkey baste and water can my nose, three rinses each nostril. First, though, you have to mix up the solution, then, when you're finished, you have to wash the equipment. After you rinse a nostril, you have to blow, this all adds up, friends.

Last week at the doc's he came in to see me and sat at the computer to read the notes from the previous visit. He said, You're the one who used the baster to water the Christmas tree. Whoa, I couldn't believe he wrote that in my medical records. Reminds me of the time I was waking up from surgery and I said to the Nurse, I REALLY have to go. The witch snarled, JUST WAIT A MINUTE. AN HOUR LATER . . . nothing. You know the desperateness of the situation. It's a long story, but they sent me home before I could go and I ended up at the ER twice in the night, sitting around for hours in sheer agony. That was definitely up there with the Top Three Worst Nights of My Life. Cringe City even remembering it.

After this ordeal, I was asked to fill out a survey of my hospital experience. Some time later I got a phone call following up on the survey. The man read over the phone, So, you wrote, The recovery room nurse was a witch on a broom. I said, Yes, that's right. Well, it was right, but hearing it repeated to me on the phone was a bit unnerving.

You know, a thought just struck me. Everything we say, it's out there in the universe somewhere. We create with our tongues, well, yes, we give birth to our thoughts with our tongues, and our thoughts are conceived in the heart and travel quickly to the mind, where, in my case, they incubate and hatch instantaneously. We create an order or words, complete sentences, that previously weren't uttered, at least not just like we could say them. And then, suddenly, there they are, out there, and you can't take them back. I think I will treat my speech canvas a little more artfully from now on. I don't want to contaminate the universe at large or some poor person up close and personal with the fruits of a careless, flapping tongue. Living a worthy life is A LOT of concentrated effort, I hope I'm up to it.

Everyone have a nice weekend, now. Myself, I'm a week day person, I like M, T, W, Th, F. Always have, always will -- except maybe that year I worked in the admissions office.

My carriage has just turned into a pumpkin, I was supposed to be in bed at midnight and it's 12:31 AM.

KEM