The answer for watering the Christmas tree is to do it with a turkey baster. Probably this tip is as old as the hills (older), but it's news to me. The idea came when I realized the new doc telling me to turkey baste my nose was not going to work out . . . not work out at all. So, I am stuck with a turkey baster but now it is put to good use, it slips easily (being a somewhat graceful implement) right up next to the trunk and water squirts directly into the basin and not all over the tree skirt and presents. Life is good. The can-can tree skirt is sitting there under the lighted tree. Have to decide if it's a keeper. It might be. My stepson came for dinner and see, I had the skirt hanging from a hook in the ceiling, and he says, What's that? He thought it was a pirate outfit.

My dinner was one of those where the cupboard was bare but there was no getting to the store either. So I am pleased to announced that I made crepes (yes, I got a non-stick omelette pan) with a white sauce tuna filling. Not bad for a desperate woman.

Then more cleaning with Andy Griffith to keep me company (Andy makes ALL the difference). Then back to Target to see what was up with the coupons. Fortunately, the customer service woman believed me, she said the cashier I had was a new girl who didn't understand about the red lights on the register (meaning the coupons weren't taking). So, I walked away with $8.49, three of those bucks being a customer courtesy for all the coupons I used which I now couldn't remember, which I don't know if there were any, but I gave myself the benefit of the doubt and decided my trouble to get back there was well worth three bucks. Of course, the other reason I was there was to get the Tide and Bounty, but no sooner did I approach the Target entrance when, BOING!, I had left the coupons on the kitchen counter (well, the pile on the counter). At least we are moving in the right direction as the coupons were removed from the December wad. Well, I couldn't bring myself to buy Tide and Bounty and pay $2.35 more, so it's another trip back to Target, the coupons now tucked in my real purse. I'm telling you, the coupon system has GOT TO GO. Companies should just stick the coupons right on the package, like they do sometimes. Do it all the time, reward your customers and entice new ones. I am more apt to buy something if I see a coupon stuck on the bottle that says, USE ME NOW. Listen to KEM, Corporate America! I'm sure every other woman in America feels exactly as I do, so listen to The Women of America! Make our lives a little jollier.

Picked up a few stocking stuffers for DTD. Christmas is fun, if it doesn't kill me first.

Uh-oh, I made an impulse buy today and I am 1,000 % remorseful. It's a OneTouch Hands-Free Can Opener, AS SEEN ON TV (that should have been my first clue). Let's just put it this way, what used to take about 10 seconds, opening a can with a manual opener, will now take about 5 minutes. Yes, you heard me. Why? Because whereas I used to rinse off my can opener, in order to clean this nifty new gadget, you have to remove the battery cover (watch the batteries fall to the floor) and then lift the front cap off. Then you can wash and dry the blade and housing. FUN. And let me tell you something else, it took 10 minutes to remove that front buggary cap and 10 minutes to replace it, it's just funky and I didn't want to force it for fear of snapping the plastic in two. So, really, I have opened one can of tuna and it took me 45 minutes. I want my money back. PLUS, this thing slices through the SIDE of the can, not the top, so tuna juice washed over the edge like Niagra Falls. Yep, BUYER'S REMORSE.

You are probably wondering, Why would you need a hands-free opener in the first place? Well, it's because I assumed it would spare my long, delicate fingers the strain and twist associated with my hands-on opener. Once a musician friend said I mustn't do house work and spoil my fingers for the piano. She was adamant. And it's true, every time I do a big house cleaning, my fingers are ruined. Of course, you are probably wondering, Why didn't you just buy a conventional electric can opener. Because the One Touch is so cute, of course. Looks are so deceiving. Initially, I had thought about buying my parents the One Touch and figured I should test it out first. Well, further words are pointless.

Still fishing for a brain cell,
KEM