KEM is happy to announce news of the most startling nature. That is, her blog has reached a wide range of influence, yes, far and near. Is everyone sitting down? Because today KEM received an email from the fine folk, namely the Executive Vice President, who manufacture the cleanser I suggested to you all for your glass top stoves. I hesitate to name the cleanser, since they are on to me now. But you remember...you do remember, right?

Somehow (pray how?), they read my blog where I mentioned the superior qualities of their cleanser, along with its atrocious smell, and how I hoped we didn't all die on the spot from inhaling the oxygen-gobbling fumes. Something like that.

Well. Now I am informed I'm going to be sent free sample bottles of said superior cleanser. Because this fine corporation believes the "atrocious" smell problem has been solved. Yes, that's right, he quoted me. So embarrassing. I don't mince words. If something is atrocious, by golly, it gets labeled atrocious. Remember how on a hospital survey I filled in the blank that the recovery room nurse was "a witch on a broom"? And later I received a follow-up call to confirm my opinions? And the nice young man on the other end of the line recited to me, And you said the recovery room nurse was a "witch on a broom," is that right? Well, yes, that is what I said, so, yes, I guess that is right. All the while KEM is descending into the sink hole that just opened under her feet, courtesy to swallow her whole.

Please note in the paragraph above that on one quote I placed the punctuation mark inside the quote and on the other quote I placed the punctuation mark on the outside of the quote marks. This is because I have no idea how it's supposed to go, so I just passed with 50%, which is not passing at all, but failing really badly. One of those things.

So, back to my story. My new corporate friends want me to try out the "new and improved" formula and give them feedback. Who says writing a blog isn't worth it? I am now akin to a laboratory rat, I am going to give it the old sniff test. Think of all the money this will save me, not having to go out and buy my own bottles for a while. I hope the bottles are not one-time-use size.

BTW, I'm good at sniffing. Remember, once at Crissy's slumber party we were all playing wildly three rooms over from the kitchen, and suddenly I froze on the spot, as though we had been playing Red Light Green Light. I froze in mid-air, with big huge eyeballs. I hollered above the roar, WHAT'S THAT SMELL, WHAT'S BURNING??? That smell was only something burning up in the oven. Crissy' mom ran and opened the oven door and black smoke unfurled in impressive billows. Maybe a fire would have started, maybe not. Nevertheless I was hailed a heroine that night. All because of my great honkin' sniffer. This corporation doesn't know how good they have it, asking me to do them this favor. Plus, I have other good examples of fine sniffing, which I cannot relay to you right now...because I cannot remember them...right now.

I hope I am not puffing up with pride, that I enlightened an Exec VP on the atrocious smell of his product, unawares. It is also SUPER SCARY to know when you put your stuff out there to read, that people might actually read it. It reminds me of someone I know who put up her house for sale, rolled up her Oriental rugs, and then when the Realtor brought someone by to see the house, Why, what is the meaning of THIS? I'm so far behind labeling/titling my blogs, and I don't remember labeling one for this cleanser. So how did they find me? Nothing is sacred anymore on the WWW. Guess it never has been. Modern technology is quake inducing, I quake within.

Okay, my assignment tomorrow is to call headquarters and make final arrangements. For the bottles to be mailed to me, that is. Like I say, You never know what a day will bring forth.

KEM of the Exciting Life
PS Do you think they are joking me?