Thursday, April 22, 2010

Two things today, no, make it three.

Swiffer WetJet. Used it today for the first time. You cannot believe what that little baby picks up. I managed to use the entire bottle of cleaner for just the dining room and kitchen. That can't be right. It says a 2 or 3 second squirt will clean 10 sq. ft, which probably translates to the one bottle should have lasted me all year with weekly cleaning. I saturated. Well, this means out to Target in the morning to buy more. WetJet is easy to handle, I like it and it made me feel like a 1950's housewife who took pleasure in using the latest cleaning gadget. Plus, you get to throw out the filthy little cleaning pad and Velcro on a new one. Not that Earth Day would approve of that. Bottom line, my hands and knees damp mop with just water in the dining room, 4 months ago, no cleaner, leaves much to be desired. I do mop the kitchen more frequently. Still, much left to be desired.

Went into the bedroom where mother-in-law will reside. Oh goody gumdrops, Jazzi had wet in there. And who knows when, it was kind of concentrated by now. And if I thought yesterday's wet in the entry way was a pain, HA!, it paled in comparison to this mess. How one little wet can run down so much grout, I should love to know. Even under mother's-in-law "sacred" cedar hope chest, which we had refinished and can never leave the family. Apparently the little wet is not so little. I'm telling you, taking the time to scrub doggy tinkle out of grout is really cramping my style. I need to be WetJetting the living room, for crying out loud.

Pulled out the stove and cleaned under there and the drawer in the bottom and all that good junk. Another high-traffic visual sure to impress my MIL. Still, it allowed me to clean off part of the counter where all the cookie sheets have been molding away, lo, these many months.

Oh yeah, and I cleaned the sole plate of my iron and ironed two pairs of Mike's khaki pants. I'm in business.

Whoever said housework done properly will kill you, well, suffice it to say, Truer words were never spoken by a mere mortal. Heavy housework always turns my fingers into sausages. It's just unforgivable.

Sweet Tulsa Googled Chocolate Gravy and there are all sorts of interesting tidbits, like the idea for it probably came from Mexicans. And one man's experience of putting biscuit drenched in chocolate gravy and butter to lips was so life-changing that he decided he must persuade others to try it with a fervency along the lines of a country preacher converting souls. Something like that. My brains are fryed, or is that fried?, so you'd be better off Googling, it was said much more cleverly and with fewer words.

Anyway, at least I got the Company's Coming, Oh No! ball rolling. Tomorrow needs to be huge. HUGE. Mike shall have to bring me a pizza. Hey, in the paper there was a recipe for pizza with collard greens, cheese and egg fried on top, soft yolk. Something like that. I just might have to try that.

I missed my opportunity for real fame. On Mystery Monkey they posted a picture a woman had sent in. She was wearing her MM T-shirt. It was the first picture to come in. I'm telling you, that's 74,999 fans really snoozing. Of course, I haven't even ordered the T-shirt yet. So I'm just snoozing, I'm not even breathing.

Think that was more than three things. But who's counting?

Fried Brains, Fried Eggs, oh yeah, and I fried my arm on a bare light bulb today. I was testing my lamp that has had the switch (the roll kind on the cord) replaced three times because it gets so hot it nigh unto catches on fire. The lamp was on the kitchen counter. Then it came down on the floor to help me see under the stove. No lamp shade. Sizzle. I have to be sure it is safe before I put it in MIL'S room where there is tee in the grout. Oh, I also sliced the meat of my thumb on a sharp edge under the stove. Housework not only kills you and turns your fingers into sausages, but it leaves you bruised and battered, down for the count and war weary. Eating that fruit in the Garden was a VERY BAD idea.

Fried and Frazzled KEM

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