KEM is having to give up her favorite thing. Naptime. Giving it up along with her bottle and pacifier. Say a prayer.

Since I am giving up naptime, that means I can't blog at 3:00 AM, because now I go to bed at 11:00 PM. So this means I am going to have to find a time to blog in daylight hours. Say a prayer.

Today I was trying to mail my mother's-in-law birthday presents. Her bday comes the day after Valentine's Day and Sweet Tulsa's bday comes the day before Valentine's. I think I have that right, and not the opposite. I love it when bdays fall on sensible days that you can remember. Miss Orcas' bday is the same as my dad's. Good going, Miss Orcas. DTD'S Aunt Jane's bday is the day before mine, except I never remember that until my bday, when I get a card from her and then I slap my forehead and utter, RATS! This happens every year. I'm about to cave in and buy a birthday calendar book.

Well, so I stopped at the post office to pick up boxes. They said, FLAT RATE. That sounded pretty good to me, Priority Mail and everything. Well, I made the mistake of thinking that the FLAT RATE would be REASONABLE. I'm so silly. So I went home and packed all the gifts in two boxes and went back to the P.O., only to find eight people standing in line ahead of me. Before long there were eight people standing behind me, too. I know how to pick 'em. This man was at the counter, he had a huge tub of boxes and manila envelopes. I kid you not, to the tune of $351 worth of postage (that includes 2 books of stamps, I think). Don't be fooled by KEM'S dainty looking little ears, she was going to hear the grand total or perish. Think about this, people, $351 to mail all his junk!!!, minus two books of stamps, I think. And it wasn't a couple of giant boxes, oh no, it was 10 million little packages, plus a couple of medium boxes, is all. I have to tell you, my Christianity was melting down and flowing under the post office doors like molten lava. I was HOT! The noive of some people. That man should have gone through the line 30 times, mailing two packages at a time, like the rest of us mortals. It was all I could do when it was my turn, three hours later, to say to the clerk, That man was SO OBNOXIOUS!!! Instead, I said, Wow, that man sure mailed a lot of junk! See, I HAD to say SOMETHING. But the clerk didn't take my bait. I guess he's a better Christian than I am. Or wants to keep his job or something.

Well, turns out that my FLAT RATS, I mean, RATES, boxes were going to cost a small fortune to mail. And I was just mailing clothing, light as a feather. The gentlemanly clerk told me to switch out all my stuff into REGULAR Priority Mail boxes, which he handed to me. So I stepped aside and went to work, feeling like a total dork and everyone staring at this dumb girl who don't know nuttin'. The end result of this, however, was it saved me FOURTEEN DOLLARS!!! FOURTEEN DOLLARS?!?!? GOOD NIGHT, NURSE!!! I guess you only want to use FLAT RATE when you're shipping lead bricks to Hong Kong. Honestly, who comes up with this stuff? The regular boxes are identical to the flat rate ones, except the flat rate ones say in tiny print, flat rate. I said, Can't you just cross off where it says, flat rate and let my carefully packed and addressed boxes be? He said, They don't like us to do that. Well, I'm not going to argue the finer points with a lovely postal clerk who is saving me $14, which I'm sure he didn't have to do.

I'll betcha every single one (emphasis on one) of you reading this already knew the dif in the boxes. But KEM didn't. She learned something today. She also learned she'd better cut off her tongue. 'Cause I had Jazzi in the car, nice cool day, and this little post office is always packed, just ask the man in line in front of me, 'cause I asked him and he told me. Jazzi was with me because she thinks a car ride is the equivalent to dying and going to Doggie Heaven. So, I prayed for a parking space, which you are lucky to get in the first place without circling the block 10 million times, I prayed for a parking space right in front, the best spot, the only one where you can keep an eye on your dog the whole time you're in line, all three hours. And when I drove in the lot, there was the space, just for me. I always pray for openings to merge on the Interstate, too. And 99% of the time I get one. I guess God is testing my faith the other 1%. So, I should have been much more charitable about the nasty man mailing his life away, who thinks he is the only person in the world. But, honestly, don't you think if you are using the post office as your office away from the office, that you should let all the little old ladies just trying to mail a Valentine go ahead of you?? Yes, I thought you would.

Oh my goodness, I found out today that Cheryl across the street is NOT hosting her annual Valentine party this year. Rats. No, make that SUPER RATS. I know she's done it 10 years in a row and it is a BLAST. She is too tired this year, I don't doubt it or blame her. So neighbor, neighbor's sister and I are going to take Cheryl out for dinner, for a change. But still, Valentine's won't be the same without this girls' party, she has the neatest girlfriends and we look forward to seeing each other this once a year. Rats. Except last year in the gift exchange, which gets really silly, I ended up with an XXX rated book about how to spice up your love life. I have a knack. I give sweet little things like delicate flowered bone china coffee mugs, and what do I get in return?? A book that I had to burn. Well, after a perfunctory glance-thru it sailed into the trash out on the street, and then CDW said in an email why did I do that, maybe I should have another look-see, just in case. But she didn't know HOW BAD this book was. So I went out in my pj's to get the book out of big black receptacle anyway, about fell in, before the trash man came by. But the book had to go right back out . . . it was frying my fingers right off my hands. At any rate, CDW got a big charge out of this.

Napless KEM